Becan-wrapped, deep-fried Gluten Balls, seasoned with garlic and covered with melted cheese?
 
Sounds like a winner there! 
 
(Yes, I know SOAP works too!)

One of them is 'fired'.

Weeeeeelllll...
 
Actually wheat gluten is a commonly used meat substitute often used in vegan dishes.
 
Anti-glutenites are not necessarily vegans or vice versa. The problem with gluten is merely for those who suffer from celiac disease (however it has been posited that eating gluten excessively can actually cause celiac disease).
 
That said... the addition of cheese would of course make your recipe trod out of the vegan realm (but considering the Chinese writing whatever it was fried in likely did that anyway) and into vegetarian territory.
 
So the only REAL anti veggie part of your recipe idea would be the bacon.
 
Now if you want to go full on anti vegan I would have gone with cheese injected, bacon wrapped prairie oysters.
 
mmm... testicles

BTW... I know this stuff because I worked in a vegan restaurant when I first landed in the city (head dish pig) and ended up dating the head chef (ultra hardcore vegan chick). The food was awesome and I learned a lot about nutrition but I'd still sneak out and snag a burger for lunch every so often (when noone was looking because I didn't want to listen to the lectures).
 
Tried being vegetarian for a couple months. I turned a very pale shade of green and did NOT feel good at all... so I stopped that crap right quick.
 

Fine.  I've changed the premise.  

Weeeeellll...
 
Actually many "Hipsters" fall under the category of "Meterosexuals" who purchase all sorts of skincare products and use them obsessively.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
okay... now I'm just messin' with ya...
 
still true though
 
:-p
 
/smells like a warm summer breeze
//downwind from a rendering plant
///LOOOOVE MEEEEEE!!!

I eat vital wheat gluten sausages and they are AWESOME. 

IIRC you're a vegetarian (or maybe piscetarian... as in you'll eat fish too), are you not sharke? Cuz of the cancer stuff?
 
Personally I've found (after trying lotso stuff) that straight up legume protein is where it's at for me (beans, lentils, etc). A lot of the other stuff does something weird to my guts. Especially TVP (textured vegetable protein).
 
Polenta is pretty good though but expensive so I haven't had it in years. Tofu isn't too harsh on my system either but doesn't keep me full like legumey goodness does.
 
I do however save my meat drippings and toss it into my lentils, black beans, etc.
 
Just tastes better and I kind of need the extra fat.
 
Might make a big batch of lentil soup tomorrow and use the whack of pork chop/bacon leavings I have in my fridge to tart it up a bit.

Beepster
 
I do however save my meat drippings and toss it into my lentils, black beans, etc.
 

 
Isn't that like cannibalism or something? 

Are you insinuating that I'm composed entirely of meat drippings?
 
If so...
 
Ya, that sounds about right.