Hi everyone!  I haven't been able to spend as much time here as I would like, but I've been listening in the background to the great music here.  I've managed to whip up this song, and I'm now at that point where I don't  know if it's finished or whether I should  keep working on it some more.  Hopefully, you all can point me in the right direction.  Thanks in advance.
 
It can be found here:  https://www.youtube.com/w...0&feature=youtu.be
 
p.s. The bass guitar was played by my old friend, Roger Fife.  Otherwise, the rest was done by yours truly.
 
 
 
 Updated 12/24/16

Wow Lynn, this is a beautiful song. Loved the chord changes, melody, and instrumentation. I think a little lead guitar or piano part (here and there) in between might compliment this very well written song.
 
If you'd like to and in no real hurry, I'd be happy to add some lead guitar to this. :)). Even if you don't it's a beautiful piece of music as it is....well done.    

Nice tune which sounds like it is all there, like Mesh perhaps a little something else either that or a small vocal.

Thanks for sharing.

Lynn as always, nice work! It sounds great the way it is. However..... if I was your producer I would persuade you to go "epic." This is what I'm hearing and it hit me right a way. That piano part is a great hook. The notes I picked out were A F D. Don't know what the chords are. I hear them ringing out at the end with big sounding drums and the "that's what lovers do" sung over the the top in the background. I think in the back of your mind you may be thinking this tune has another gear and I think you are right. Really good one!

Great stuff Lynn. Lyrics/vocal are the stand out for me. Really enjoyed it.

I enjoyed the music on this.  Love those minor chord arrangements, sweet little creepy things those...and you nailed the mood very well.  Not real crazy about the vocal *treatment*, as I was hoping for some heavy saturated effects.  I don't think they work dry as they are.  I don't usually comment on matters of artistic taste, except that this is such a cool tune that I could so easily hear it on the radio.  
 
Good lyrics too.  Thanks for sharing, really enjoyed it.
 
Also listened to Devil's in My House.  Kick ass tune there too man, with another cool indie mood.  Just wish the drums were up a bit in that one.  I know, you didn't ask for critiques on that one - I give it free of charge!  

The choruses are very strong, and if it were me, i'd vote for taking the whole thing in a Pink Floyd direction. That might require the kind of trippy guitar that I can hear a little of in your ending - but you've got it pretty buried in the mix.
 
And as a purely personal "criticism" which is really nothing more than my .02 cents , I'd rethink some of the lyrics in the verses - not always, but occasionally they verge on some well-worn love rhymes. I wouldn't say much about the lyrics at all, but you kind of asked a "should I continue this" question!
 
And I think you definitely should! Because the chorus chord structures and their melodies are waaaay good. Plus get your Roger Waters thang on, and this tune gets very strong!
 
cheers, good job!
-Tom

Thanks to all for your comments.
 
Mesh, this is one of the things I wondered about.  I usually over produce my songs, so I was looking for some space in this tune.  However, some tasty riffs might be the thing.  I appreciate your offer, and I'll put that on the back burner for now.
 
Wookie, thanks for your time and patience.  I'm looking forward to hearing December.
 
Daryl, thank you so much, especially for all your contributions to the forum.
 
Tim, I appreciate your  time and input.  As I said above, I usually overdo things, so I backed off a little on f/x.  It does have a rather subtle reverb, which I thought fitting for a ballad, but who knows?  I appreciate your comment regarding Devil's In My House.  Now I'll have to hear it again.
 
 

This is gripping!  Love the whole piece.  It's glued together well.  I agree with TOM going in the PINK FLOYD direction.  In fact I could hear a david gilmour soaring solo on top of this.  This is the type of subject they might use as well.

Glad to see you back on the forum Lynn!  What a beautiful song.  Excellent lyrics.  My thoughts as I heard this song were --- this would be a great theme song for the intro to a James Bond movie.  Perhaps that is what John meant when he used the phrase "epic" above.  This number has a very commercially viable sound to it.  Even as is, the chords, melody, etc. have that JB intro feel to it (at least to me).  In addition, I particularly like the vocal repetitions at the end of the song.
 
Excellent stuff Lynn!!!