Look, I know that since many of you fellers are getting on in years you've been forced to switch to that "Becan" brand veggie bacon substitute stuff. I feel for ya's... truly. What a terrible, meaningless existent to have tragically thrust upon you.
However that doesn't mean those of us who haven't yet completely clogged our arteries have to forsake the real deal.
#YOLO... ROIGHT?
/maximum trolling