This is one of 10 songs I'm working on for my next unsuccessful album.
 
Any opinions or criticism (helpful please) would be greatly appreciated.
 
Drums and saxophones are programmed, using Addictive Drums and NI Session Horns Pro.
Everything else is played by me.
 
 
https://soundcloud.com/user-809364146/myclown
 
 
PS.  My wife called it "self-indulgent."  Not the critique i was looking for, but...

Hey, buddy. I normally don't give critiques and remember I am still very much learning myself but since yer beggin' I'll see if I can make some sense.
 
Sounds to me like the level mix and orchestration are right where they need to be. Everything can be heard, nothing is jumping out, nothing is too quiet, etc. This seems like a nice wide open mix ripe for some fancier tweaking. I'd say at this point start really looking at your EQ settings and honing WAY in on all the individual elements to make them all nice and clear and crisp. Make them "pop" and snag the listener's attention more. Currently each part, although perfectly placed and fully audible aren't doing that fancy "ear/brain feel" thing where each sound kind of catches ones attention in the way I think you are intending. It's not "muddy" by any means but it's not top notch "crisp" like I think you are going for. This is the perfect position (IMO) to be before tackling some very persnickety EQing.
 
Keep in mind the mastering stage will certainly make all those elements "pop" even better but I think you could really tighten things up frequency wise to aide the mastering stage.
 
Also so many of those sounds/elements are just begging for some cool individual effect treatments. A little reverb/delay here, a bit of modulation effects there. Maybe some creative panning/level automation, etc. Essentially once everything has been made nice and clean from a general EQing I'd goof around with some fancy creative effects coloring to make the individual sounds even more interesting/ear catching.
 
As far as performance everything is spot on and well written but a touch drab. Some more confidence and subtle emotion in the guits and vox would knock this up into the type of thing you'd hear on a deep cable TV drama. Give 'er a bit of juice, brother.
 
I definitely know exactly this sound/style and it's reminding me of TO. Perfect example of this style in every way but just needs a bit of extra "oomph" all around and I think this would be completely marketable.
 
Enjoyed it and thanks for sharing. Hopefully that's helpful as opposed to annoying derp. lol
 
Cheers, Matt. Take care.

Shades of Bowie in your vocals and even the song itself, which is cool. I think the bass sound is wrong, i'd look for something with more mid-range presence to sync with the drums better. I don't know but sounds like it was mixed through headphones? worth spending some time on though cos the way it builds up to the final chorus is great

Beepster
 
Sounds to me like the level mix and orchestration are right where they need to be. Everything can be heard, nothing is jumping out, nothing is too quiet, etc. This seems like a nice wide open mix ripe for some fancier tweaking. I'd say at this point start really looking at your EQ settings and honing WAY in on all the individual elements to make them all nice and clear and crisp. Make them "pop" and snag the listener's attention more. Currently each part, although perfectly placed and fully audible aren't doing that fancy "ear/brain feel" thing where each sound kind of catches ones attention in the way I think you are intending. It's not "muddy" by any means but it's not top notch "crisp" like I think you are going for. This is the perfect position (IMO) to be before tackling some very persnickety EQing.
 
Also so many of those sounds/elements are just begging for some cool individual effect treatments. A little reverb/delay here, a bit of modulation effects there. Maybe some creative panning/level automation, etc. Essentially once everything has been made nice and clean from a general EQing I'd goof around with some fancy creative effects coloring to make the individual sounds even more interesting/ear catching.
 
As far as performance everything is spot on and well written but a touch drab. Some more confidence and subtle emotion in the guits and vox would knock this up into the type of thing you'd hear on a deep cable TV drama. Give 'er a bit of juice, brother.
 
I definitely know exactly this sound/style and it's reminding me of TO. Perfect example of this style in every way but just needs a bit of extra "oomph" all around and I think this would be completely marketable.
 

Thanks Beepster.  This is just the thing I was looking for.
Surprised it reminds you of TO, but I guess I just don't notice my own inspirations...

mgh
Shades of Bowie in your vocals and even the song itself, which is cool. I think the bass sound is wrong, i'd look for something with more mid-range presence to sync with the drums better. I don't know but sounds like it was mixed through headphones? worth spending some time on though cos the way it builds up to the final chorus is great

Thanks for the encouragement MGH.
 
"Bowie?"  I must be moving up in the world... My last "idol-reference" was being told that I sounded like Bryan Ferry on crack.
I've been iffy on that bass sound too.  And yes, headphones.  The bane of being broke and living in an apartment...

Like your lyrics!

eph221
Like your lyrics!

Thanks Eph.
This one was fun to write, a look at my dark side.
My wife did a dramatic clown performance (not the circus-y fun type, but the pure ID without any social constraints).  We talked about her clown, all timid and cripplingly shy, and realized how nasty and manipulative mine would be.

send in the clowns!

Beepster took the words out of my mouth in regard to the mix.  But, this is a terrific song, and I love the vocal and lyrics.  This is worth a touch more time and effort because I think you'll be greatly rewarded.  You're off to a great start, Matt.

Thanks Lynn.  I'm hoping to get some solid mixing time this weekend.