Done and will continue to fervently.

So here's what I'm now thinking:
 
I go to the Hospital Administrator and the Oncologist and tell them all that has gone on, including that I am being excluded from any news, any reports, and especially any decisions affecting my wife.
That I've only been told 3rd hand by text, etc. to stay away, and that for all I know, my wife may think or even be being told that I've abandoned her by now.
Who knows what she thinks when she's in & out of drug induced consiousness.
 
And that I never appointed the mother as primary care giver and decision maker in lieu of my forced absence, despite
her taking over, regardless of my intentions, thoughts and feelings.
 
Let them know that if my wife is indeed dying, then I want to go through it with her. That's what couples do.
 
My only real concern now is that if indeed my wife doesn't want to see me, then I could screw everything up and not be able to reconnect with her.
Then be banned with security being called on me there afterwards.
 
These nurses don't even know what I look like. I don't even know what room my wife is in.
 
i wish I knew for sure. I wish I had a crystal ball.
 
Any further advice before I possibly mess it up completely tomorrow?
 
I would expect the hospital admin to understand and maybe even ask, "Where have you been for a week now?"

Praying for you Jim.

Thank you Mike

jimusic
So here's what I'm now thinking:
 
I go to the Hospital Administrator and the Oncologist and tell them all that has gone on, including that I am being excluded from any news, any reports, and especially any decisions affecting my wife.
That I've only been told 3rd hand by text, etc. to stay away, and that for all I know, my wife may think or even be being told that I've abandoned her by now.
Who knows what she thinks when she's in & out of drug induced consiousness.
 
And that I never appointed the mother as primary care giver and decision maker in lieu of my forced absence, despite
her taking over, regardless of my intentions, thoughts and feelings.
 
Let them know that if my wife is indeed dying, then I want to go through it with her. That's what couples do.
 
My only real concern now is that if indeed my wife doesn't want to see me, then I could screw everything up and not be able to reconnect with her.
Then be banned with security being called on me there afterwards.
 
These nurses don't even know what I look like. I don't even know what room my wife is in.
 
i wish I knew for sure. I wish I had a crystal ball.
 
Any further advice before I possibly mess it up completely tomorrow?
 
I would expect the hospital admin to understand and maybe even ask, "Where have you been for a week now?"

That sounds like decent and respectful plan.
 
This is indeed quite sad. Unless you were an abusive arse then you really should be able to speak to your wife at the very least.
 
Brutal stuff, man. Best to ya and your family.

Jim,
 
I can't understand the interpersonal dynamics of this nightmare scenario you are in the middle of. But I learned -first-hand, when my younger brother passed away 26 years ago- that there are some things that happen to us that cannot be understood. And it is futile to try. 
 
I pray tonight for you and your family,
 
Bert
 
 

I can't begin to feel what you're going through Jim, but I wish you all the luck in the world.  It's an absolute nightmare.
If I were you, I'd go to the hospital every day.  Not into her room without permission, but go there.  Talk to the Dr if possible, but at least let someone know that you're there if she changes her mind.
 
In 3 weeks I'm playing a charity concert for Ovarian Cancer Canada.  I'll be thinking of you and your wife.

Jim, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's condition and your situation. Will certainly offer our family Rosary tonight for you and your wife.

Prayers for both you and your wife...
 

Thank you all.
I do think I'll go and see the Hospital Admin, the Oncologist, and let them know that what's going on and that I'm being excluded from everything that I'm entitled to know and be apart of.
I won't go into my wife's room yet, but I think I'll go up to the ward (once I find it) and introduce myself to the nurses.
Then go every day and ask how she's doing and what is being done, and that I want to be kept informed on all of it.  
 
I expect trouble from the Mother if she sees me, who is very controlling and has tried many a time to break us up, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
My fear is that she'll rile my wife up and make her needlessly upset that I'm there, even though I won't actually go into the room.
 
The hard part is keeping cool when she purposely riles me up, and she knows just how to do it.
 
I've only had a few hours sleep for thinking way too much about this, but it's been a week now, and I think I must start on it today - the longer I leave it, the less control and options I'll have.