Scenario:
 
 I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, which is a good find for many retirees, unfortunately I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

 
Made my morning......Thanks Bill.

I wish I was that witty.  But then i'd probably be in jail.
Thanks for the laugh!

BWAHAHahahaha!

BobF
BWAHAHahahaha!

+fnar fnar

 
Two guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." 

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." 

The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" 

The second guy says, "Well, she is 25, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts, and a tight butt. She's wearing high heels, a leather mini skirt and a skimpy little t-shirt."
 
What does your wife look like?" 

To which the first guy says, "Never mind that, let's just look for yours." 

A retort worthy of Churchill !
 
Cheers,
 
Bert