2017/07/28 22:19:21
JohnKenn
I got you beat already, maybe. Grandson asking if I have a horror story. Yeah.
 
Midnapoor India...
Three feet big, bloody giants. Skin crawls even as I writes.
 
Was doing social service there, exploding from both ends with dysentary in 120 degree heat.
 
My host took me to an outback in Midnapoor to coordinate the relief efforts. House carved out of the jungle across a rice field.
 
The boss man saw that I was about to drop. Said I wouldn't understand the language anyway. He would attend the meeting. I could rest in the shade at a cool 110. Agreed.
 
The boss walked off across the raises dirt walkway. I was relieved to be excused. Turned around against the jungle wall to collapse for awhile, and there they were.
 
Less than a foot away. Monsters right out of hell. There were three of them. They made their nets across the trees in parallel. The alpha male was in front. Smaller behind and the runt of the litter, barely 2 feet big in the back. They caught birds and rats and was said they could take down a cobra. Architecture was that if the rat got thru the first web, the second would slow it down and number two would get the feast etc. According to the locals, the only problem they had was with vultures. They were so heavy upon landing that they went thru all the webs like a bowling ball. The giants were however revered as pets of the gods because they kept the rat and snake infestation under control. Bird deaths were not celebrated.
 
Funny how they say that in death crisis, your life flies before your eyes. I was scared ****less about to be eaten. It was like going thru everything fast forward to reconcile the experience. My mental data base rewinded and settled on a high school biology lecture. The biggest spider in the world was a goliath from somewhere in South America. Maybe 8 inches across. Was going thru rapid fire negotiation with reality that these monsters staring me in the eye could therefore not exist.
 
Didn't fall into the web. Have no information on how poisonous they were.
 
Have done many web searches trying to identify the giants. No luck. Figure that the unexplored jungles of Midnapoor are now covered with concrete and a McDonald's on every corner. The god's pets are probably extinct.
 
John
2017/07/28 22:36:36
ampfixer
You win.
2017/07/28 23:20:42
JohnKenn
Yep, probably win the contest about the size for land monsters. Unless someone else has a more terrible experience.
Saw something about ocean spiders that were 10 feet across I hope nobody dived into.
 
Thing about spiders is that the size versus deadliness isn't straight. Something less than an inch can rot your leg off. Another a foot across only causes irritation.
 
John
 
2017/07/28 23:33:48
michaelhanson
I believe it was one of these, or some thing very similar.  Bright golden on the back and about 4"-5" in diameter.  I was weed eating in the back yard a few years ago when it came out of the weeds and ran up our wooden fence.  I had to go inside and clean up my undershorts.
 

2017/07/29 01:00:16
outland144k
michaelhanson
I believe it was one of these, or some thing very similar.  Bright golden on the back and about 4"-5" in diameter.  I was weed eating in the back yard a few years ago when it came out of the weeds and ran up our wooden fence.  I had to go inside and clean up my undershorts.
 





This is a picture of a Yellow Garden Spider. Believe or not, they're harmless. We get a few of them every year. We also get Wolf Spiders (also harmless). They grow to about 2 inches or so, but never bite (I guess they might if someone really annoyed them, but why would one do this?) We get these inside, usually in the basement. I just catch them and put them outside. If it's the dead of winter when I find them, I put them in the garage to help keep down any insects that might be living out there.
 
 
2017/07/29 01:04:20
JohnKenn
Michael,
 
Brings back fond memories. The only thing that didn't have me drop dead of fear was that the Midnapoor monsters were like garden spiders. Bright colors. Way too big.
 
Was a kind of standoff. The first spider was hissing at me. Hi pitched chirp warning me not to wander into the web. Later figured out that it saw me as too big to wrestle with. Cutting its losses if we had to tangle. Standoff. My two eyes staring into about 8 red eyes and dripping fangs ready to attack.
 
Was later transferred to Africa to do missionary work and save the heathens down there.
 
The spiders were only about as big as your hand, but more a vision right out of hell. They liked to set up shop in showers. You learned to be cross eyed. One eye on the one water outlet. Another on the spider, hoping you didn't splash it and make it fall down on you.  Brr....
 
Sweet dreams to all,
 
John
2017/07/29 01:44:51
SteveStrummerUK
JohnKenn
 
Have done many web searches trying to identify the giants. 




I see what you did there 
2017/07/29 04:56:51
sharke
They get some big ones in Australia...
 
http://www.dailymail.co.u...ggest-spider-EVER.html
2017/07/29 11:40:26
kennywtelejazz

 
Kenny
2017/07/29 11:59:11
BobF
Thanks for the reminder to get my flame thrower juiced up for spider season
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