Someone PLEASE help me to understand what it is that makes a good mix "cohesive", and what it is that im not doing. I start off with a good gain stage, I HPF everything but my kick and bass from the start so its clear and ive got more headroom, I've learned to EQ any instrument the way i like it, and nothing over laps in my frequency spectrum, ive even tried compressing my mix buss ( which has done nothing for me at this point), but for the life of me i cant get the tracks in my mix to "hold hands." listening to this mix im working on is like looking at a family portrait where all the family members(tracks) are standing a couple feet away from each other instead of shoulder to shoulder lol. Im by no means any proffesional, but ive come too far from where i started to believe that i have bad ears. I know what sound im trying to get, i hear it all day when im in the studio but its like i just cant get my monitors to spit it out and its driving me mad. And for the record i refuse to believe that gelling things together is the mastering engineers job. If I can get any track in the project to sound the way i want it to on it's own, why cant i get them to sound like its all one piece of music when theyre together?

Without hearing it everyone's answer will just be a guess. But, the generic answer is, a good arrangement where the parts are working together, appropriate amounts of ambience to tie it together, and getting everything at the rigth place front to back to create the desired sense of space. And I guess, though it's just a guess until we hear it, you may be obsessing too much about separation and destroying the cohesion of the mix?

I post these thoughts/suggestion knowing that I don't know much about your music, tracking techniques, room, monitors. I'm also not an expert. I'm reading, listening and learning as I go and I think that will always be the case.

It is my belief that you first record the track to sound like you want it to in order save less manipulation later. With that said, I started getting better mixes years ago by not going overboard on tweaking individual tracks to sound a lot different from the incoming material. Especially in the eq dept.

For eq ing tracks now - I rolloff the areas that the material is not focused on freq-wise. Almost all of my tracks have a bass rolloff except for the kick and sometimes the bass gtr. I also roll-off some of the high freqs on most tracks like you mentioned.

I like that you make room for your instruments. That is the exception to the opening part of my post. Just don't go overboard to feature every track as though it has to be the best individual track ever recorded. It is all about the summation of those tracks working together for the final result to sound good. Some will have to be thinner than you may want to hear individually. A helping heaping of less is best is really a good rule to follow - especially with reverbs / fx.

Once you have the levels set and all the parts are working together well - some light compression through a limiter should be close to what you want. I also do some light parallel compression on my final mix as well. Secret sauce  :)

A good visual of what your mix looks like is a good idea. I usually have an instance of Voxengo Span on my Master buss. I also like to see my mix in Har-Bal if you have that.

You also might want to go to get this book Mixing Audio 


All the best!

The best thing is a good front end and proper recording.

Next is arrangement - proper soundscape.

During mixing, sub buses help - guitars going through the same bus, etc.

Another thing that sometimes works is to throw the SSL bus comp onto the master bus.  Sometimes that will smooth out the sonic differences and hold everything but the loudest part down and let the loud thing poke through.

A little serial compression (going in, mixing, mastering [or mix bus] is usually better than slamming every sound once.


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ASG

   ... I HPF everything but my kick and bass from the start so its clear and ive got more headroom, I've learned to EQ any instrument the way i like it, and nothing over laps in my frequency spectrum...
..is like looking at a family portrait where all the family members(tracks) are standing a couple feet away from each other instead of shoulder to shoulder lol...?

Maybe nothing, but.. maybe not.
HPF (IMO) should be done as needed, and with an eye for a tracks appropriate wieght and partially size in the mix.
'Complementary Eq as well, as needed, but no overlap (or by some reasoning 'very little)?  I see overlap as the natural state of things, and a primary means in the roll of density, 'thickness, well blending.
 

You'll need to post examples to get any meanIngful answers. Bu I would start by checking for:

- sloppy playing
- poor tuning
- weak arrangement
- inappropriate sounds used /chosen

Mix it out to tape.

Thanks for all answers, which all have points im going to test when i get back. Droddey's point about ambience is probably what i overlooked the most, some things have too much and others too little, so they sound too much like theyre recorded from different places. everybody swears by the SSL but i just dont have the money for it right now, can anybody vouche for the plugin instead? Sub busses are another good idea idea ive been suggested but havent tried yet. High pass filters are something i started doing just recently because i liked the idea theoretically. Sometimes i notice more clarity sometimes i dont. Im going to try out you guys's advice and then post some examples sometime this week.

If you can't post a link to a mix that you're not satisfied with, you can't get any serious constructive crits. You should post one in the songs forum and ask for input/comments.

you should post a link to the project so we can hear it..... it's easier to give advice after hearing what you're doing first.