it's mixed a bit hot but other than that i loved this slice of prog. great balance and love the riffs

Nice instrumental and vocal work.  I loved the bass lines.  You know, it is far too well done for me to come up with any suggestions.  I really like the overall sound and was a bit lax in listening to the lyrics because the music held me.  The lyrics that I remember were a bit dark but, HEY, it's war.   Great production.

MarkusClinus
This is great - you guys have really got a great sound - all of the playing is very professional and the mix sounds perfect to me.
 
Love it guys.

Mark... thanks for the kind words!  I'll be sure to pass them along to the other collaborators.
 

Firesong X
Really nice. Some parts reminded me a bit of Pink Floyd, my dad listened to them a lot (and so I did too) but totally different. Really liked it.

John

Pink Floyd, you say... Cool! 
 

emeraldsoul
Which one's Pink?
 
yep, I really liked how it got going at 1:08. Thanks for that super clear mix, particularly drums/guitars.
 
I know lyric choices are extremely personal creative decisions, but would venture an opinion . . . I think the music, arrangement, performance chops, and mix really outshine the lyrics. Just my opinion, 'cause I really liked the music.
 
I look forward to hearing more as you guys do your thing! Very cool.
 
cheers,
-Tom

Thanks a bunch, Tom!  I do appreciate your comments!
This song exists really because of the lyrics.  I was reading through a bunch of them on the site where this collab took place in an effort to finally write a song (it had been about 5 years or so since I had written one).  And when I stumbled onto these lyrics, I noticed that there was a great rhythmic flow to them, and I felt like I'd be able to do something with it.  I'm less than useless when it comes to writing lyrics, so I'm happy to leave that task to others. 
 

mgh
it's mixed a bit hot but other than that i loved this slice of prog. great balance and love the riffs

Well thank you, Sir!
 

evadianepug
Nice instrumental and vocal work.  I loved the bass lines.  You know, it is far too well done for me to come up with any suggestions.  I really like the overall sound and was a bit lax in listening to the lyrics because the music held me.  The lyrics that I remember were a bit dark but, HEY, it's war.   Great production.

Yep... dark indeed.  And it's that dark subject matter that I was really aiming to capture with the music.  Really glad you enjoyed it!

Great job....all the way round. Yea very Floydish....mix and performances were very very good....if I had one nit to pic it would be the efx chosen on the intro vox. I think I get the intention (keeping it small and distant thus giving the song much more impact when everything jumps in)...but if not done w/the right am'radio'ish effect comes across a bit hokey...which in this case it did (to me at least). I've done the same thing in a few DT tunes and I use a plug in that has....no kidding....about 4000 different megaphone-telephone-cell-talking toy-bla bla thingies...and i am always taken back by how one lo-fi-cheesy effect works when the doesn't at all...
 
All that to say - that efx...for me took away more than she added to an otherwise monster production.
 
A+++ all the way!
 
Great work...

thepogue
Great job....all the way round. Yea very Floydish....mix and performances were very very good....if I had one nit to pic it would be the efx chosen on the intro vox. I think I get the intention (keeping it small and distant thus giving the song much more impact when everything jumps in)...but if not done w/the right am'radio'ish effect comes across a bit hokey...which in this case it did (to me at least). I've done the same thing in a few DT tunes and I use a plug in that has....no kidding....about 4000 different megaphone-telephone-cell-talking toy-bla bla thingies...and i am always taken back by how one lo-fi-cheesy effect works when the doesn't at all...
 
All that to say - that efx...for me took away more than she added to an otherwise monster production.
 
A+++ all the way!
 
Great work...

 
Thank you very much for your kind words, as well as for the constructive critiques of the intro vocal effect.  What I used there was a distortion type plug as I wanted a little dirt in that section. But I did high pass and low pass the effect which I guess would make it sound sort of "am'radio'ish".  This was my second mix of this song, and I did try a few different things for that intro vocal section (which would indicate that I wasn't totally happy with it), but I always came back to what is there now. 

This had a terrific sense of musical direction that never faltered. That is impressive.
 
The left guitar was just a tad hot on my system.

jamesyoyo
This had a terrific sense of musical direction that never faltered. That is impressive.
 
The left guitar was just a tad hot on my system.

Thanks for that, James!

I loved it.  Every performance was brilliant.
 
Only thing I'd say is sometimes the guitar might be a little too far out front (although I know that's what you're really going for), to the point where the bass/drums are pretty much MIA.

Walt Collins
I loved it.  Every performance was brilliant.
 
Only thing I'd say is sometimes the guitar might be a little too far out front (although I know that's what you're really going for), to the point where the bass/drums are pretty much MIA.

Hey thanks Walt!  Yes, I think I may have the I'm-a-typical-guitarist-that-can-never-be-loud-enough syndrome.  I'd be lying is I said that I've never been accused of this in the past. 

Hehe, I understand. :)
 
Stuff sticking out here and there keeps it raw and bold and vital.  Keep the mix lively and exciting.  Which you've already achieved!  If/when you do go back in for a remix, be careful not to go too far in "correcting" stuff.