bitman
Just kidding. Something my customers say to me after I clean viruses from their pc's and such.

A buddy of mine used to work in a computer shop many moons ago. He had a story about some guy who snagged one of those "Try AOL Free for a Month" promo discs from a standee in their shop (for those who don't remember that old school shiz the disc was basically a trial for AOL that let you use their online service/portal in hopes you'd sign up but of course you still actually had to have a modem and whatnot to connect).
 
Dude comes back all ticked off saying "The internet isn't on this disc!!". He thought he could surf the web just with that disc. No connection to any networks. Just plop it in the CD drive and start intertoobin'.
 
*facepalm*

Beepster
 No connection to any networks. Just plop it in the CD drive and start intertoobin'.

That's how I doos it.
 
It shows, ya?

My favorite was a story I heard from a tech guy years and years ago who'd gotten an inquiry from a teacher. Apparently this teacher had decided that it would be more helpful to the kids if the keys were arranged in alphabetical order, so she'd taken them off and rearranged them herself. To her surprise, they were still coming out as QWERTY and she wanted to know where she was going wrong. 

Win+pause - how cool.

bapu

Beepster
 No connection to any networks. Just plop it in the CD drive and start intertoobin'.

That's how I doos it.
 
It shows, ya?

I'm still internetting via smoke signals... but I just upgraded my fire and blanket to broadband so now it's sooper fast.

Beebzey I sent you a gift box.

I had a lady call one evening saying she couldn't get her computer to work right and complained the mouse kept rolling around on the floor making it hard for her to use it. It turned out that she was trying to use the mouse like the pedals of a dictaphone machine. I'm guessing she lied about having computer experience. I let her know the mouse is to be operated by hand and to contact her supervisor. We never heard from her again.

Back in the '80's we actually had a lady do this.

One time back then I used to manage the Tech. Support team and we had a few fun terms like:

• It was a 502 (the police code for a DUI)
• A dysfunctional user incident (what WE called a DUI)
• A problem between the keyboard and the chair