Cheers - been a long time since I finished anything - just wrapped this up. All comments/suggestions welcome (I already know I need a better singer).
 
http://www.onlytheunusual.com/myj/index.php/my-songs/14-unforgiven
 
Lyrics.
It’s blood over water –  it’s  the ties that bind
It’s a natural order – not a written kind
It’s just something everybody knows.
 
It’s a family thing – bout the dos and the don’ts
The lines that we cross and the lines that we won’t
It’s just something that you feel inside
 
Like that pack of dogs on the edge of town
You can’t chase them off, you can’t stare ‘em down
They stickin’ together and they survive
 
Well I always thought we be like that too
You countin’ on me I countin’ on you
Oh dear brother yeah was I surprised
 
Because you did that thing you did, you said that thing you said and now as long as I am livin’ you’ll remain unforgiven
 
Like that poet said to forgive is divine
Well it don’t work like that, not in this life of mine
What you give is what you gonna get
 
For the knock on the door that went ignored
There’s a price to be paid that you cannot afford
cause it’s something I just can’t forget
 
Yeah you did that thing you did, you said that thing you said and now as long as I am livin’ you’ll remain  . . . unforgiven, unforgiven, unforgiven 

Cool tune, kind of reminds me a little of JJ Cale. Ain't a thing wrong with the vocals and there is great guitar and bass work in there too! The mix is nice, an old school vibe, very clean.
 
The only thing that stood out to me was the harmonica at the beginning, to my ear it didn't sit in the mix very well initially. That's just a nit though. Good work!
 
 

The groove is nice and tight on this. Mix, overall, is pretty good. That said, here's what stuck out to me:
 

• Harmonica doesn't sound like it is in the same room with everything else.
• The echo on the lead vocal sort of smears the clarity a bit and makes understanding the lyrics a little tough in spots. Either duck the echo or pan it out of center.
• A few (very few) spots where the timing on overdubbed vocals is a tad off, making them step on each other.

 
Regards,
Dan
 
 
 

I also don't have a problem with the vocal - sounds real.
Great groove. Vocals get lost a little - maybe a bit more of the dry mix, the delay is muddying them up.

Good song, performance and production.  I would like to hear just a hint more clarity in the LVox.  The singing is good, just sounds a little buried with the delays/double-tracking.  Like it:)  
 
Regards

Hi, Manny,
 
Very cool song with a nice vintage rock vibe, great lyrics and excellent playing and singing!
 
I really like the gritty guitar on the right side playing off of the clean rhythm on the left, and the vocals sound really good.  Maybe raising the high pass filter on your vocal bus would help them cut through the mix just a little bit better, they're too good to be buried.
 
Really nice work on this, good stuff!
 
Best Wishes,
Bob
 

Thanks everyone for the time and the feedback. It really is helpful and gives me the energy to say “let me go back once again and try to make this sound a bit better”. I know there’s some work needed but the positive response is also very inspiring.
Kevin
Yeah – the harmonica – you’re not the only one pointing that out – I guess I should address this.
Dan,
Very helpful – I understand exactly what you’re saying – maybe I can tweak this a bit.
Daryl
I know what you mean about the vocals – it’s partly my dissatisfaction with my voice – just try to cover it up.
Mark
Yeah – vocals . . . hey - I checked out your No Matter What - I always loved that tune - super job you did. Vocals are super.
Bob,
I’m vintage for sure. As mentioned by all – the vocals – bane of my existence.
 
And today – I am at work but I will squeeze in some time to do some listening/commenting of my own. Thanks again, your help is appreciated.

Good lyrics Manny, well written song. I like the arrangement too, got an early Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers vibe. Guitars are cool...

Hey Manny -- very well-written song.  The lyrics are structured well and remain on point (which is always a sign of lots of good songcraft).  I identify with those lyrics and was touched by them.
 
My initial feeling was that it's a good groove that needs to breathe in the mix -- perhaps in the panning and a bit of eq.  Also, the harmonica in the beginning took away from the great guitar part -- and was sometimes a bit of distraction throughout the song. And, your vocal is very good -- appropriate for the tune and expressive.  So, no problems there.  All in all, very solid and just needs a little tweaking (hey, we've all heard that before, right?).  I'll certainly listen again as I enjoyed this.
 
Allan
===

Thanks Allen - I really appreciate the help (from everyone). I did go back and try to improve this - spread out the stereo image a bit, brought down the harmonica, nixed the background vocals and replaced with a clone that I tweaked with melodyne (so it is a bit more in sync as Dan had noted). I'm happier with it. Vocals - they are what they are - if I had a buddy that was a singer, I'd have him step in but such is life and in the long run, this is all for my own gratification. 
 
I meant to say - regarding the lyrics (and the ability to relate to this)  - I did get several negative comments from friends/family about this - I was very surprised. I do think there are times when people do something that is very, very wrong- and I don't feel there is any reason that I have to forgive them. Not to get into a political/religious thing - I was just very surprised to get the comments that I did. Life isn't easy. Not for any one.