here's another binary idea.  
 
https://soundcloud.com/da...ys-of-ancient-sunlight
 
Listen to this version, it's better.  Beagle was right the first one sucked.
 
 
 
https://soundcloud.com/david-sprouse-76324214/the-last-minutes-of-ancient-sunlight
 

Hi David,
be right back!

I couldn't hear any vox on the version I listened to? Did I break it?

oops.  dawg made a mistake and responded to the wrong song!

hey David,
you've got some good elements going on here, but the rhythms are fighting each other and it's hard to get a feel for the direction of the song.  and some of the things going on are very "out of place" 
 
the piano sounds "wrong" instead of "jazz"
 
I want to encourage you to continue to work on your songs, I think you could do well if you keep learning.

hmm, ok beagle.  :D  I'm not one for credentialing, but I did study jazz in NYC for 10 years, haha.

daryl1968
I couldn't hear any vox on the version I listened to? Did I break it?

Daryl, you're hired!  But you gotta sing with a fruit basket on your head.

eph221

daryl1968
I couldn't hear any vox on the version I listened to? Did I break it?

Daryl, you're hired!  But you gotta sing with a fruit basket on your head.

doesn't everyone? 

This is a little better!
 
https://soundcloud.com/da...-of-ancient-sunlight-1

I like your use of chords.  The rhythms are kind of all over the place, but somehow it works.  Avant Gard quality.
 
John B.