Q: How many audio engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?
It's in the manual. Didn't you read the manual?
Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad General Electric's
customer support
is.
None. That's what interns are for.
If you just turn the other dimmers down a bit, the client won't even notice
that the bulb has
gone out.
There is no scientific difference between your old bulb and the new one, and
anyone who tells
you otherwise is peddling snake oil.
First, the decision as to whether the bulb should be changed. It takes 4 at the
minimum. One of
whom must have excellent communication skills and will present a paper on the
subject for
consideration by the AES. The other 3 set up numerous blind looking tests to
determine whether
or not anyone really will notice the bulb's state as significant. Passing that
part of the
process, we find that it may be necessary to select the proper replacement. The
"1 or 10" rule
applies here. Either the engineer is experienced enough to select the right
bulb for the job,
or it may require 10 engineers to discuss the various options available. No
fewer than 3 of
these will then review products suitable for the trade magazines while 4 others
present
discussions of the subject to such venues as regional AES section meetings and
rec.audio.pro.
The remaining 3 indulge in Internet flame wars blasting the reviews of the
first 3.
Ideally, a side by side comparison of bulbs will take place. One must consider
spectral
emissions and foot-candle data, measuring all to confirm manufacturers' claims.
The type of gas
filling the glass bulb and material used for the filament can influence the
quality of lamp
performance, and the psychological effects of colour distribution can…
What was the question?
Two. One to operate the dimmer and one to say "a little too bright. Turn it
down."
If you use 110-ohm balanced line in your lamps, you can go for dozens of
generations without
changing.
One, so long as he replaces it with an oxygen-free bulb.
First we have to decide if the bulb is wired base-hot, or thread-hot.
Well, first we need to evaluate how it will affect the artistic integrity of
the piece to be
played in the dark or in the light….
Three, if the bulb has poor off-axis response.
Lightbulb…??? You're still using those?
One, two, one, two…is this thing on?
None. That's a job for a video engineer.
I don't know, how many engineers did it take at [rival-studio]?
None. Since it's analogue, leave it broken and replace it with the latest
digital bulb from
Alesis.
None. They'll just fix it in the mix.
None. That's the way vintage lightbulbs are supposed to look.
Only amateurs change light bulbs; pros know that it's the room that really
needs work.
How much to you want to spend?
How many light bulbs does it take to change an audio engineer?
Just one… the little red one
over the track where you just yesterday got that perfect vocal line.