BTW, I've taken up golf.
 
Bought myself a big f-off Jon Daly one-wood.
 
It's about 7 foot long and has a very powerful whippy shaft and an absolutely enormous club-face.
 
Trouble is, if I get my swing all wrong the bloody thing wraps around and catches me smack in the b****cks  
 
 
 
 
It's driving me nuts
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
PS - I know it's a repeat but it didn't get a laugh in the other thread!

t's driving me nuts

... that's the punchline for the one where the pirate has a steering wheel coming out of his crotch.

Different 'driving'

BREAKING NEWS.
 
Ellen Degeneres dead...
 
Found face-down in Rikki Lake.

So I said to the Hedgehog...

Why can't you just share the Hedge like everyone else does?

Is it getting harder to pick up girls?
I tried to pick up a girl in a bar the other night and she started screaming...
Put me down!, Put me down!
The bouncer came over, there was a scuffle, I had to leave.
I don't know what I did wrong.

Before Michael Vaughan, who was the last person to screw an Aussie and take home the Ashes?
 
 
…Paula Yates.
 
 
(Ouch!)

Q: What's green and goes 45 mph?





A: A frog in a blender.

 
The French will eat almost anything.
 
A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city.
 
He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits.
 
He successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. The young man replied, "I raise them myself, near the cathedral.
 
In fact, I have ... a hutch back of Notre Dame.
 
 

As seen on cable, an unremembered comedian musing on why women don't run the world;
"They have half the money and all the p****."