2010/03/15 14:15:12
MurMan
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So the deaf can enjoy them too.
2010/05/27 14:57:22
SteveStrummerUK
 
What do you call a blonde with brain cells?
 
 
Pregnant.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2010/05/29 17:30:39
bapu
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. 

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. 

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. 

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. 

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. 

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

2010/06/11 18:13:52
bapu
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there  already.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy: 'I have a baseball.'

Man: 'That's nice'

Boy: 'Want to buy it?'

Man: 'No, thanks.'

Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'

Man: 'OK, how much?'

Boy: '$250'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: 'Dark in here.'

Man: 'Yes, it is.'

Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'

The lover, remembering the last t ime , asks the boy, 'How much?'

Boy: '$750'

Man: 'Sold.'

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'

The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

Boy: '$1,000'

The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm  taking you to church, to confession.'

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that crap again; you're in my closet now.'


2010/06/12 07:18:08
Videolink
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
2010/06/12 07:22:27
Videolink
I just said to my wife,
Right sexy upsairs NOW!

She looked at me and said Ooh Darling Kinky.

I said "No seriously, the match is coming on now bu**er off"
2010/06/23 19:49:02
Slugbaby
A father and his young son are visiting the zoo for the day.  As they passed the hippos, the boy looked up at his dad.  “What is that,” he asked.  “That’s a hippo,” Dad replied.  “And why is he in the water?”  “He’s in the water to keep him cool.”


A little farther along, they saw some goats.  “What’s that” asked the boy.  “Those are mountain goats” said the father.  “Why are they head-butting each other?”  “That’s how they decide who’s the boss.”


Nearing the end, they came to a pair of lions.  “What are they, daddy?”  “Son, those are lions” answered the father.  “Dad, why is that one licking the other one’s bum?”  “Son,” Dad replied, “he’s just eaten an Englishman and he’s trying to get the taste out of his mouth.”
2010/06/23 21:54:53
bapu
Videolink


Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

bada boom
2010/06/25 16:54:09
rickbail
If someone throws a rock and knocks you off your donkey, does that mean you are stoned off you’re a@#$s
 
Rick
2010/06/25 18:11:49
SteveStrummerUK
 
What have David Beckham and Ferrero Rocher chocolates got in common?
 
 
 
 
They both come in a posh box.
 
 
 
 
© 2026 APG vNext Commercial Version 5.1

Use My Existing Forum Account

Use My Social Media Account