Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
 
 
A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Whats the difference bettween an epileptic oyster schucker & a hooker with the runs?


One Schucks bettween Fits.....

Q. What did the overloaded circuit say when it tripped the circuit breaker?

A. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat?

Dog * Cat * sin(Theta)

What do you get when you cross a dog and a mountain climber?

You can't do that.  A mountain climber is a scaler.

What's the difference between a jet pilot, and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining at the gate.

Prolly been said.....

What is the difference between Paris Hilton and the Suez canal?

One of them is a busy ditch.

Great, now I gotta go get a thumb pump.

Oh well 

So, a few years ago, Prince Charles is walking the Queen's Corgi.  Suddenly, the dog drops over dead.  Frantic, the Prince borrows a shovel from a nearby household, and begins to dig a grave, thinking he'll find a replacement, and the Queen will never know.  Digging, he hits something hard.  He pulls it out, and begins rubbing the dirt off to inspect it.  Suddenly, a puff of smoke, and a Genie appears.  "You get one wish", he says.  "I thought I get three", Charles says.  "No, this is a British Genie, meant to mildly disappoint".  "Then, please bring the Corgi back to life".  The Genie inspects the Corgi.  "That's a dead dog.  Even I can't bring him back.  What's your second choice?".  Charles thinks.  "Make Camilla the most attractive, desireable woman in the universe".  The Genie thinks.  "Hmmmm, let's have another look at that Corgi".

I went to the zoo last week but they only had one animal, a dog.

It was Chitzoo

Child

So a guy goes to the doctor.  The doctor comes into the room and says "I'm sorry, I have bad news.  The tests I ran show your illness is terminal.  There's nothing I can do about it".

"How long do I have?"

"Ten", says the doctor.

"Ten what?" says the patient.

"Nine..."