:::: NEWS FLASH :::: NEWS FLASH :::::

A guy comes home from work after a hefty 16 hour shift, grabs the newspaper and goes to the toilet, sits down and lights up a cigarette when suddenly ka'BOOM.. there's an explosion... 

The wife immediately calls emergency, the ambulance arrives... as they carry moaning victim down the stairs the paramedics ask the wife... *ahem* so how did this happen?... the wife replies; 

I was trying to kill a roach, it went in the toilet bowl so I quickly grabbed a can of spray, probably used up the whole can. Then shortly after hubby arrives homes, he sits on the toilet then lights up and....  Ka'BOOM! 

The paramedics laughed so hysterically they drop the poor guy, he tumbles down the stairs... thud.. thud.. thud.. thud.. thud.. boink

Apparently this is based on a true story. The wife had used a whole can of flamable liquid in the toilet bowl to kill a little bug. 

Can you imagine the poor guy not only had his jewels blown off but probably also had his neck broken after falling several flights down the stairs. 

AWw man.... awww BOY!! 

Should have just flushed. LOL.

Uranus is gaseous...

Old55


Should have just flushed. LOL.

Probably tried that at first but that little pesky bug just wouldn't stop flinching!! 

craigb


Uranus is gaseous...

After an incident like that I doubt there be much of Uranus left! 

I quit my job at the helium factory today.























I'm not letting anyone talk to me like that

Boom  boom.

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. 


As you well know, some of us more inclined to have encounters with the  authorities on our way home from the odd holiday social session. Well, I have done something about it. 


A couple of nights ago I was out for a few drinks with some pals and had a few too many rum-nogs and knowing full well I was over the limit. I did  something I've never done before-I took a bus home. I arrived safely and without incident which was a real surprise since I'd never driven a bus before and have no idea where I got this one.

That reminds me of a young friend of mine. (true story)  He was applying for a school bus driver job.  But there was this little incident of grand larceny on his record.  (He'd stolen a car.)  His response to that was, 'Well, doesn't it make a difference that it wasn't a school bus?' 

 
I was sunbathing on the beach when my attention was drawn to a woman thrashing about in the sea screaming "Help, shark! Help!".
 
Oh how I laughed...
 
I just knew that shark wasn't going to help her.

 
I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet...
 
 
 
So far I've got seventeen fridges.