I applied to be a human cannonball at the local circus but apparently they only take people of a certain calibre.

I think I read that somewhere...
(since this post is on a new page, you probably didn't see the 1st of the double posts)
Sheesh. When you have to explain something it takes all the humo(u)r out of it.
 
Take my wife, please.

So this Irishman walks past a bar...

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.


She says, 'What's the story?'


He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'


She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

I hope your lovely lady isn't blonde Bapu!

If she is though, you can keep her busy by asking her to alphabetize these:

craigb


I hope your lovely lady isn't blonde Bapu!

If she is though, you can keep her busy by asking her to alphabetize these:

 
Pfft..... piece of piss that Craig.
 
 
 
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.

"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born on?"

"Yesterday?" I replied.