Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-****.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"