12!

paulo
12!

No, no, no...  This thread is only for crap jokes! 

craigb

paulo
12!

No, no, no...  This thread is only for crap jokes! 

Have you ever read any of the FSF ?

Bloke driving along the road when he sees a woman eating grass in a field, he stops and asks her what she is doing, "I've fallen on hard times and can't afford food or shelter"  "Get in the car" he says, "I'm taking you home with me" As he drives along about two hundred yards he sees two blokes doing the same. The woman says "can you pick them up, they're my brothers"...the bloke looks at her and says, "what, three of you, have you seen the size of my lawn?"

My neighbour was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.

He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving."

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly.  "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore. 
 
"Really?" he said

"Yes, the last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket and said  'You won't be needing this anymore.........."
 
 

 
It's my first day working in the local library.
 
To make a good impression, I came in two hours early and organised all the books by size.
 
 

 
My mate asked me, "How's things with you and your new girlfriend?"

"Not great," I replied, "She wants us to make a sex tape for her birthday."

"Just go along with it," he said, "You'll have fun."

"No chance," I said, "I don't even fancy you."
 
 

SteveStrummerUK
 
It's my first day working in the local library.
 
To make a good impression, I came in two hours early and organised all the books by size.
 
 

It only took you 2 hours?  How big is this library?

 
I'm a fast worker
 
 
Anywho, this chap came in earlier and asked me if we had any books on the subject of 'Coincidences'....
 
"As a matter of fact" I said, "This one has just arrived."

 
Kenny Baker just wandered in and asked me if we had any books about 'Irony'...
 
"Why yes, yes we do" I helpfully replied, "They're over there, on the top shelf."