bapu
I like the song. Not sure what I could offer specifically as I'm only listening on med quality buds. 
 
The wah-wah BGVs may be a bit too upfront to the point of def sounding auto-dyned
 
All the instruments sound good esp that bass.

Yeah, definitely don't want my slip showing, but since my really, really high harmony singer, Ms. Dyne works cheap, I guess I'll have to do something about that.  Those P-Basses rock, yeah?
 
I appreciate you popping in on this one!

ABull
I didn't read other comments...
 
From the opening chords I expected "Can't Explain" but that was just a bit.  This is a very good recording of the song.  It's well recorded and there are some very creative parts to the song.  I do think that the main vocal could be up in volume a bit -- I really had a hard time hearing the lyric.  I think the bridge brings down the overall feel of the song energy-wise.  The arrangement is a bit too busy in places -- it could be edited and tightened.  You've got some good stuff here to work with.  !!
 
Allan
===
 

lol, that never occurred to me. But sure enough, there it is. Maybe I'll change to end to fade out with "Can't Explain". Thanks for the feedback, particularly on the tune's weak points, it was my hope that the busy bits would work if I played well enough, but I didn't and so yeah, there's some slop that hurts the tune. I'm trying to tighten things up before I toss some of the arrangement. I appreciate you giving the song some of your time!

Bert Guy
Kevin,
 
I have pretty idiosyncratic taste, so you should take anything I say with a grain of salt. 
 
I like this song and recording- its bouncy and catchy. I can't place it (which is good), but it has 60's/British invasion  elements and some 70's elements as well-Boston GTR riffs and Yes/Kansas style keyboard parts? 

 
 
Nailed it, that's my time, my life soundtrack right there. 
 

Bert Guy 
I do agree @ the bass pedal. I prefer a bass drum that is more felt than heard, where it merges with the bassGTR tone on the downbeat. I know a lot of songs are recorded with an always audible bass drum, but I usually find that distracting. It may be that all you have to do is use a lower pitched bass drum sample and cut the volume. For that matter, maybe the whole drum kit is too high-pitched; a lower pitched snare (and toms) at lower volume might better support and highlight what I think is the best part of the arrangement- the GTR and keyboard interplay.  
 
But overall, this is original & creative stuff, here. Pretty damn good as it is.
 
Cheers,
Bert

Thanks for your feedback, Bert. I'm working on the kick feedback now, trying lots of different stuff with it and thanks for the idea about lowering the pitch of the entire kit, cool idea! I really appreciate you giving the tune a listen!

Rikkie
Hi Kevin, nice tune, sounds like you had fun making this.
 
Rik

Rik, yeah, I did. It was almost equal parts pain and pleasure with pleasure getting the final nod only very recently. It's only been in the last few months or so that I've worked up the chutzpah to try something like this and though it's not quite what I really wanted, it's close enough that the tweaking is pretty cool. Thanks a lot for giving some of your time!

emeraldsoul
Your vocal work has paid off. Nice ear candy sprinkles. I like how your main lyric lines continue across the end of the chord sequences (if that makes sense) - nice writing trick, very unexpected.
 
Mix-wise I'd also beef up the kick and maybe the bass a little. Lead guitars are shining.
 
cheers,
-Tom
 

 
It didn't feel like a trick when I was doing it, it felt more like a spectacularly stupid idea for the longest time. lol. Thanks, Tom, I appreciate your feedback and, well, your appreciation.  

Please check the first post in this thread for news about the updated version of this song!
 
https://soundcloud.com/kevin-ibsen/see-me-v2
 
 

Kevin,
 
All I can say is, it's a completely different song now. Much more cohesive. Thumbs up!
 
The real question is, do you like the changes?
 
Regards,
Dan
 

dcumpian
Kevin,
 
All I can say is, it's a completely different song now. Much more cohesive. Thumbs up!
 
The real question is, do you like the changes?
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Thanks, Dan, yeah I do like this mix a lot better than my first shot at it. I took about a week off from this one, and when I came back to it I went back to the basics and it came out much better. I also re-did quite a few of the instrument parts to tighten some sloppiness up which helped pull things together quite a lot.
 
But I still don't trust my ears when it comes to finding a good balance between enough compression to help things hang together and preserving the dynamics of the instruments. I appreciate your critiques a great deal, thanks!
 
 
 

Yeah... I like the vocals as well.  (just my 2 cents) I would add an acoustic guitar to smooth the rhythm a bit.  Reminds me of Emerson Lake & Palmer in parts. 

tcolton5
Yeah... I like the vocals as well.  (just my 2 cents) I would add an acoustic guitar to smooth the rhythm a bit.  Reminds me of Emerson Lake & Palmer in parts. 

Thanks for chiming in, Tom. There's two acoustic parts in there already, lol. I recorded two parts with a Martin D16 using an in-hole pickup rather than a mic. That tends to kill the "acoustic-ness" of that guitar but I don't have a set up for recording an acoustic with a mic right now. Do you have any particular part of the tune in mind that needs softening, or is it just a general thing?
 
Thanks!