Sorry for the slow reply, I tried last night but the forum software told me there was an "unknown error try again later" Ney-fi uses somewhere between 0 and less than 1% cpu for me according to task manager. I've no idea why it might use more on your PC. No, there are no options other than "exit". I have the PC connected to the router by ethernet cable, not wireless, and the iPad connects to the router wirelessly. If you've got the ney-fi/V-control configuration right is it possible there's a firewall interfering with the networking side of things?
If you've not done so I suggest you take a look at the FAQ page on Neyrinck's website. It includes a link to download the manual which is essential reading and includes instructions for using the app with Sonar. Hopefully that will point you in the right direction.
I don't use V-Control to remote control synths because I use hardware synths. The free version doesn't do much but at least lets you check you can get it working and provides basic control over the console side of things. The full version of the app can do much more, and I'm still working out the best way to configure many of the functions for how I use Sonar (which might be very different to you). Sonar treats V-control as a Mackie controller and it's far superior to Act in my opinion.
One thing worth doing is to disable the swipe gestures on the iPad while using V-control. Otherwise iOS will treat some of your input as intended to control the iPad. particularly irritating if you want to control four channel volumes at the same time.
Another very useful app worth looking at is Microsoft's free remote desktop client.