jkoseattle
If someone doesn't specifically ask for feedback, I'm not going to give any. Here are the typical ways that can go:
 
A: Here is my song
B: I don't like X about it
A: Well, I didn't ask what anyone thought
 
- or -
 
A; Here is my song
B: Love it!
A: Thanks!
 
What's not represented is:
 
A; Here is my song
B: Love it!
A: Well, I didn't ask what anyone thought
 

A; Here is my song
B: I haven't heard it
A: Why
B: Well, you didn't ask to listen to it
 
 
 

daryl1968
The way I see it, if you place anything in the public domain you put yourself at the mercy of the critic.

Absolutely.... That's why I don't... I know what criticism will be.

Guitarhacker
That's a tricky one.... because not everyone wants the truth. However, I do try to error on the side of caution with regards to my comments.  I don't want to tell someone it's good when it's not but I also want to let them know what they could do to improve the song, the recording, whatever.
 

Best option for one to post a song and to get honest critic and constructive advice to improve without facing public criticism (which some people cannot digest) is to write a small note : "Please PM" .
 
Though some of users wont take effort to PM, but there are many users in this forum who want to help others to improve they will certainly do. After a long dilemma once I posted a song on soundcloud and after that I got some comments and PM too without asking.
 
Regards
Snehankur

What sometimes "cools the flame" for me is when a particularly heavy handed reviewer does a chop job on my work, he/she adds "but that's just me" or "but that's my opinion.  The turn off is when the attitude is "nobody could possibly enjoy listening to this tune because you did (insert particular offense here) and I didn't like it".  Styles and tastes are diverse.  You may hate something about a tune, where a dozen others might share your opinion and a dozen others may not and actually enjoy the "offense".  I know it's a given that everybody has their own opinion and each person's opinion is just that and not Gospel Truth, but I can take a flaming much easier if the reviewer acknowledges that.
 
JB

My personal take and philosophy on posting songs.
 
I don't care what anyone says about the song. Of course the song is "my baby" and no one likes to be told that they have an "ugly baby"...   however, I've been doing this long enough that I have heard just about every kind of comment and not only from other folks like me and you on these forums but also from the professional songwriters in Nashville and other music meccas.... the guys and gals with the #1 hits playing on the radio. They can be brutal on aspiring writers. You either take it personally and get upset and quit or you listen to the good advice, and let the rest roll off your back like water from a duck's back and keep going.
 
To me, all criticism, whether good, bad or indifferent is useful for learning something new. If a person says they hate the song and it sucks, I'm curious to find out their reasoning. It may be that they love death metal or  EDM and it's country that I write or it could be a totally valid reason such as they are also country writers and they see  bad structure and lyric writing that could be done better.
 
I try to never take any negative crits personally. I'm getting better at that these days. It's a song.... nothing in that song is sacred.  And I do not mind changing lines, or entire parts around to make the song better.

One song I sent to some Nashville writers for a review came back with some serious crits suggesting a complete re-write of some of the verses.  I conversed with my co-writer...  saying...  "You won't believe what those idiots in Nashville said about our song, they said we should rewrite the second and drop 2 entire verses out of the song"... but after a good hard look at the second verse.... yup, those folks in N-town were spot on correct.  So we threw out 2 verses, and set about writing a better second verse...... that's how you learn to be a better writer and musician. If we had not listened, and that could have been easy to do, we'd never have finished a much better version of the song.  That song.... started out almost 5 minutes long.... 4 verses, a chorus, a bridge, and a guitar solo. Here's how it ended up: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12024980
 

All excellent comments!  I agree completely that if a song is posted here then it is subject to whatever criticism is appropriate but courtesy and tact are always of utmost importance.
 
I also do what Herb describes as trying to determine from the song and from the poster's comments what level he/she is in regard to songwriting, recording, producing, etc before making any comments and I tailor my comments based on what I determine the needs of the OP are.  I try to be encouraging to those who need encouragement and I always try to find something good to say about the song/recording/performances to go along with anything "constructive" I post.
 
I am guilty, however, of doing exactly what James says we should try to avoid and that's posting on other peoples music only when I have something posted - in other words, only posting when there's something in it for me.
 
I didn't use to be that way, I used to comment on nearly every song that came through, but lately I have not had the time to keep up with even a portion of that.  I do miss out on some really good music by not listening as often.
 
I do agree with James that we should try to listen and comment and be part of the community even when there's nothing in it for us in return.  I have always felt guilty when I don't do that and just post whenever I have something posted.  I will do my best to get a little better at following that philosophy and I encourage everyone else to do so as well!

Guitarhacker
 
If a person says they hate the song and it sucks, I'm curious to find out their reasoning.
 

 
I agree with all that you said Herb, just wanted to say though, that I've rarely, if ever seen anyone here say they hate anything, or that anything sucks (unless our old friend Pete drops by )
 
The opposite seems to be the case, there are a lot of people saying they 'love' just about everything they comment on, and I have a hard time accepting that as being genuine. Encouraging for people's fragile egos  perhaps, but it takes a lot for me to actually 'love' a song, I'm sure that goes for most people.
 
Personally I'd much rather hear 'this isn't really my cup of tea but I did like 'X' about it' for example.
 
Of course, this particular forum tends to focus quite naturally on the mix side of things rather than the songwriting aspect. I've joined a couple of songwriting forums lately and it's a whole different ballgame.
 
It would be interesting to know how many songs people have listened to here over the years, and still listen to now, for pleasure. I have a few, but not that many after 10 years of listening.
 
Anyway...just thinking out loud really.

Good post!
 
I comment on others waaaaay more than I ever post a song. That should be rule #1.
 
Take everyone's critiques with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. That should be rule #2
 
 
 
As far as fearing a flame war, I've been on here a little over a year and only seen one  episode that led to unpleasantness. That's a very good track record! - This is a super supportive group that can teach each other a lot about songwriting, artistry, and mixing. I've benefitted greatly.
 
I have also found some brilliant new music on this forum (great discoveries lurk everywhere) . . . and enjoyed the international perspectives of the people who thoughtfully comment. 
 
Lastly, and most importantly - I knew a guy who had a dichotomy . . .  it took him weeks to heal.
 
 
cheers,
-Tom

emeraldsoul
 
...Lastly, and most importantly - I knew a guy who had a dichotomy . . .  it took him weeks to heal.
  
cheers,
-Tom

Penicillin really helps. :)

Beagle
I used to comment on nearly every song that came through, but lately I have not had the time to keep up with even a portion of that.  I do miss out on some really good music by not listening as often.
 

Exactly. When I first came here I was listening and commenting on just about every song that was posted here.  I'm guilty of sandbagging this forum and not listening to the songs like I used to.  I just don't have the time to get them all like I would like too. I comment more selectively these days.

Another reason being is that this forum has a very active group of writers and the sheer amount of new music coming in daily is overwhelming at times.