In the Out in the Open thread you asked for comments on what chords you're using here. Actually this isn't a chord-based song at all. You are sitting on an A chord the entire time, and have a lot of other doodads thrown in there for interest sake. I think this is pretty damn cool, actually, though it has a long way to go before it's finished. I'm reminded of the Beatles' "Tomorrow Never Knows".
Bottom line: you've got a thick tapestry here, which is great, but that's not going to work very well unless we can hear individual parts more clearly. If you want this kind of sound, spend a ton of time making sure every instrument stands out.
I would take all the reverb off the drums first off, as that's taking up a lot of space. I would make liberal use of EQ on everything to get the instruments to stand out as right now they are muddled together in a not-very-interesting way.
The vocals work, but your voice is pretty mellow, so it gets buried in there. Also, it sounds like you're making the vocals up as you go, so it feels like we aren't in sure hands. I like the approach, but I would spend some time to figure out the exact things you're going to sing and when, and then sell those, so it sounds less like improvising on the spot. The "come won't you come with me" has almost a chorus feel, it might be effective to make those moments stand out in some way to distinguish them from the other parts. Also, the vocals are really dry. Take the reverb you used on the drums and move them to the vocals instead. You have a second vocal that comes in and out separate from the main guy. Try putting a different effect on that and panning it so that it doesn't fight with the main vocal.
The string figures that appear now and again are cool. They're nice and high so they stand out. Fun idea, and it works great.
I would fade the song out rather than stop dead. Since the song doesn't have a traditional "shape", but is instead kind of a single sonic groove extended for several minutes, a fade-out would give it more of the effect of it lasting forever. Stopping dead like that makes it sound like you think it's now "over", which seems arbitrary.