• Songs
  • Snow Day....Mix 4x .....NEW.....Critiques Solicited
2016/02/07 20:53:52
Jesse Screed
Won't you come with me as I formulate the arrangement and Remix of Snow Day.
 
Scratch Vocals, some eq, and tweaks.  Vocals will need to be redone.  Sounds like some low problems tooo
 
http://www.soundclick.com...ngid=13314055&q=hi
 
Jesse Q. Screed
2016/02/08 13:06:35
Beagle
I don't see the song called won't you come with me in the list. The lonk isn't working.
2016/02/08 15:02:19
Jesse Screed
Sorry Mr. Beagle,  this is a rework of the song Snow Day, it is called Snow Day 4x.  The link should work.  Next time I will be more clear.
 
Jesse Q.Screed
2016/02/18 12:40:43
jkoseattle
In the Out in the Open thread you asked for comments on what chords you're using here. Actually this isn't a chord-based song at all. You are sitting on an A chord the entire time, and have a lot of other doodads thrown in there for interest sake. I think this is pretty damn cool, actually, though it has a long way to go before it's finished. I'm reminded of the Beatles' "Tomorrow Never Knows".
 
Bottom line: you've got a thick tapestry here, which is great, but that's not going to work very well unless we can hear individual parts more clearly. If you want this kind of sound, spend a ton of time making sure every instrument stands out. 
 
I would take all the reverb off the drums first off, as that's taking up a lot of space. I would make liberal use of EQ on everything to get the instruments to stand out as right now they are muddled together in a not-very-interesting way. 
 
The vocals work, but your voice is pretty mellow, so it gets buried in there. Also, it sounds like you're making the vocals up as you go, so it feels like we aren't in sure hands. I like the approach, but I would spend some time to figure out the exact things you're going to sing and when, and then sell those, so it sounds less like improvising on the spot. The "come won't you come with me" has almost a chorus feel, it might be effective to make those moments stand out in some way to distinguish them from the other parts. Also, the vocals are really dry. Take the reverb you used on the drums and move them to the vocals instead. You have a second vocal that comes in and out separate from the main guy. Try putting a different effect on that and panning it so that it doesn't fight with the main vocal.
 
The string figures that appear now and again are cool. They're nice and high so they stand out. Fun idea, and it works great.
 
I would fade the song out rather than stop dead. Since the song doesn't have a traditional "shape", but is instead kind of a single sonic groove extended for several minutes, a fade-out would give it more of the effect of it lasting forever. Stopping dead like that makes it sound like you think it's now "over", which seems arbitrary.
 
2016/02/18 13:59:52
twisted6s
I don't know what this is but I think it's pretty damn cool!
2016/02/18 14:13:25
Jesse Screed
yo Seattle dude.  You nailed it, for the most part.  Lyrics were made up on the spot.  Guitar, made up on the spot, strings are a little "convert to midi" trick of birds singing.
 
I have to let you know that I aim for immediacy in all my work.  I rarely, and I mean rarely, do more than 1 take on anything.  I just sit down, hit record, and whatever comes out of my mouth, the end of my fingers, or my brain, is what gets recorded. 
 
I know that my lack of polish shows in 99% of what I do, sometimes I get lucky too, but I tend to be raw.  I think there is a name for that kind of art, but I don't know what it is. I'm often surprised when people feel something from a piece I have made.
 
With that said, in an earlier post on mix 3, or #2, I forget, I said if I was ever going to try to polish something this would one I might consider.
 
Thanks for letting me know it is an A chord.  I just tuned all the strings into different notes that sounded good when I strummed it, I think it is called open tuning.
 
Thanks for the review, I can't disagree with one thing you said.  Hopefully I'll get the time to work on it, or not get distracted by some other event or emotion.
 
Jesse Q. Screed
 
 
2016/02/18 14:51:15
jkoseattle
I'm all for the "get it in a single take" approach, but you might discover that there is a big part of your creativity you're leaving on the table, and that is the more considered critic of those improvisatory moments.
 
I realize of course that it's a completely different style, but this piece (three tracks in all, but a single piece) used your approach of putting down whatever came out and saying "whatever comes out is what I'm using". But then, rather than taking those improvised moments at face value, I sculpted each of them into something better while retaining the original inspirations of the moment. So what you hear is "cleaned up" versions of original "whatevers". This is what I might suggest for you. Keep the immediacy of improvised moments, but then improve them.
 
https://soundcloud.com/jkoseattle/cloud-cuckoo-land-i?in=jkoseattle/sets/we-are-all-famous
https://soundcloud.com/jkoseattle/cloud-cuckoo-land-ii-1?in=jkoseattle/sets/we-are-all-famous
https://soundcloud.com/jkoseattle/cloud-cuckoo-land-iii-1?in=jkoseattle/sets/we-are-all-famous
 
2016/02/18 19:51:50
Voda La Void
Jesse I totally dig this tune. Very imaginative. I was into it immediately too. And I just got done burning one so it was perfecting timing. Thank you for a great start to the evening. In my mind it needs nothing, you're done.
2016/02/18 20:49:12
Jesse Screed
OK Seattle man, when I get the time I will listen to your creation.  I will also remember your words.
 
To Mr. V.L.V, I appreciate your comment.  Yes, on the one hand it is done, but on the other hand it isn't done.  I promised myself that I would actually take the time to help it along, so if the muse smiles unto me I will tweak it some more, and  in the least, practice some new skills and do a little more traditional style production, recording, and mixing.
 
Stay Loose VLV
 
Jesse Q.Screed
2016/02/18 20:53:11
Jesse Screed
twisted6s
I don't know what this is but I think it's pretty damn cool!




Hey twisted 6s, I'll go with that.  I don't know what it is either.  I'm glad you liked it.
 
Jesse Q. Screed
 
 
Ps, I'm listening to "the Good" right now.  I dig your vibe.
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