Hey Voda man
Voda La Void
I didn't really "get" this song. The vocals are not tight enough to determine much of the melody. I'm not familiar with your other stuff, nor with experimental alternative, so maybe this is a style thing and I'm betraying my lack of depth here. I'm a folk music fan, so stripped down is generally very appealing to me. I would love to give it another chance if you ever give it the treatment though, as mentioned above.
It's all good. Don't be so hard on yourself.
a little backstory
My friend is a person who is easily depressed, I mean serious depression, and he had some issues with his girlfriend. I was afraid he might do something dangerous. So I told him I would write a song for him.
My M.O. is to sit down at the computer, hit record, and spill my guts. That is what this is, 4 minutes of heartfelt expression for my buddy and his "problems." , No redo's, no overdubs, a little EQ, and a volume automation on the vocal where I coughed up some phlegm, I had a cold at the time, and there are a few other places where you can here some mucous get ready to fly.
With that in mind, I doubt if this will ever get redone, or dallied up. It is what it is, but that doesn't mean I don't want people to share their true opinions, I'm afraid that once people know I never actually write a song, but just emote one, they will stop listening, or think I don't care. My goal is to improve enough to emote better pieces and have them sound good. who knows.
The funny thing is, when I played it for my friend, he said, "that cat sounds depressed," and we had a good laugh.
Jesse Q. Screed