Hmmm. I will have to wait until this evening to verify this - but - I have been using this feature in the plugin menu for a couple of years minus one of steps a couple of you mentioned -> I pick whatever preset I want. I don't have to use the default preset setting...
 
Again, I will check later on - I haven't done this in X3 so maybe something changed, but I don't think so. For instance, I have Valhalla Room and Sonitus Flange and Sonitus Delay setup to load with my chosen presets for busses.
 
 
Edit: I saw that DX plugs show their presets. VST plugs do have to have a new preset saved to be seen in the plugin manager. Not necessarily named "default" though.