https://soundcloud.com/orygun/seventy

I wrote this song because I'll be 70 next birthday.
There's a reference to a line from a Simon and Garfunkle song which has been on my mind for a few years.
You'll probably pick it out.
Singing is a real challenge for me. I could have had someone else do the vocals, but I'd rather do it myself. It's a bit
rough even after melodyne (a lot).  Anyway thanks for listening.

Good tune. I would say you need to work with the EQ get rid of some of the mid-range and lower end on the vocal. I think that will make quite a difference.

And move the mic back...you've captured a lot of mouth noises that are a bit distracting. Vocal isn't terrible, just needs more polish. The drums get lost here and there, but more than that, they don't really have enough variation to keep the song moving. I'd suggest not using drums right off the bat and bring them in during the first chorus. Add some percussion for movement and flavor.
 
Regards,
Dan
 

very cool - it reminds me of something Leonard Cohen would write. Vocal needs to come up in the mix and EQ some of the bottom end out (as rbecker said)

Thanks rbecker
I did do some EQ in Izotope Nectar. It was difficult (for me) to remove muddiness while not increasing harsh higher freq at the same time.
This is my first song using a microphone and it's been a real learning experience.  It's not so easy to just sing into a mic and have it sound good.

Thanks Dan
Backing away from the mic doesn't help with the mouth noises.
When I first started this I couldn't figure out why I was  getting static in my recordings, but it turned out to be little mouth smacking noises that I do and can't seem to control. The mic picks it up very well (and I've used different mics).  One of the reasons I have all the accompanying tracks in this song- guitars, strings, drums - was to try and hide the  mouth noises. What I really wanted was just one guitar, but that ain't gonna happen.

Thanks Daryl
Never thought of Leonard Cohen, but yeah I guess that would be a good way to categorize it.
I'm working on the EQ today.


 
Bjorn

I caught the Bookends reference, sound advice given above, based on what you have a few tweaks to this mix will add the polish it is looking for. 

Bjorn-
 
What mic are you using?
 
A couple things with mics I would suggest:
 
1. Use a pop screen. You can make one out of a crochet hoop and a nylon stocking. Not only does it cut down on some noise, it can help you sing at a proper, consistent distance from the mic.
 
2. I can say this because I have done it....If using a condenser mic - or any mic that does not have an obvious front and back - make sure it is not on the mic stand backwards. This is not as easy as you might think: My Audio-Technica looks the same on the inside no matter how hard I gaze through the mesh. When I first got it, I assumed that the side with the large logo would face out, but the opposite was true. I was not the only one to make this error: I had to google a bunch of sites until I found proof of the proper orientation.
 
There is a ton of stuff online you can look up to research how to get the most out of your microphone. 

Wookie
"How terribly strange to be 70" has been on my mind ever since I passed "when I'm 64" a while ago.
I appreciate the comments and thanks for listening.

rbecker
Yep, I'm using a pop filter.
I used an audio technica at2020 at first. It  has a marking on it indicating the back of the mic so I'm pretty sure I had if facing the right way.
I decided it was too sensitive because it was picking up a lot of mouth noises so I changed to a Sennheiser e835, a dynamic mic.  It's better, but I'm still plagued with the noises. I read about different ways that vocalists use to deal with a dry mouth, but so far nothing's really worked.  


Bjorn

Hello Bjorn,
 
Nice song. I agree with the above mentioned comments. I might help when you use a shockmount-pop filter (doesn't cost much). A long long time ago I even would use some nylonstocking wrapped around a circle of iron wire. Takes away lot of unwanted noises. And of course use a gate if those noises are very low in level. Downlevel above your unwanted noises. You can find it in FX at the console view or trackcontrol. Push the + and find it there.
 
Leobert
 
Keep on rocking for YOBO (you once be old)
 

Not to pile on with regard to the vocals, but I hear something else others haven't mentioned, that's a pretty easy fix. And that is that you are anticipating the beat in the vocals in a lot of sections. I would try zooming in on the audio track to see where your syllables come before the barlines and try sliding them to the right ever so slightly. I don't hear this everywhere, the bridge is one place.
 
How many takes did you do for these vocals, and how small are you slicing up the takes (meaning, are you singing the whole song beginning to end or recording small bits at a time)? I find that by recording just a line or two at a time and doing a dozen takes or more in succession, I find little vocal inflection ideas that I would not have come up with otherwise. Plus then I'm sure to get a take I really like. (Of course, this means a ton of work auditioning all the takes and also in making sure the lines sound blended together naturally.)
 
Another thing I'd suggest is rather than apologize for the vocals, work with them. The delivery has a somber eerie quality that a little subtle reverb and/or delay might enhance.