Hi,
 
I never got into the habit of smoking that, and never did it on a regular basis, and for some reason I did not like it.
 
Internally, I already knew from a few books (specially Castaneda), that it was not needed and it was just something else to replace something else and then yet another replacement. Being that I was very intuitive and writing, and I had visions many times (not even stoned) made it easier, because I knew that it messed up with my intuition. 
 
My neighbor smokes it but he is on disability, and uses it medically for his serious headaches from the medication (parkinson's related I think ... don't even know what it is) he has to take and it doesn't bother me, but I won't touch it. 
 
All in all, if I make resolutions, and at 66, you and I know that resolutions are for the birds, not us, it would be to lose a few pounds and I am in that direction by doing exercises in the morning and evening. My goal, sort of, is about one pound per week kind of thing, and it's really no big deal, but easy to see when I am getting lazy, and when I say fudge it, and eat something or other. But I have cut out potatoes and bread altogether, and that should help some. And I rarely eat pasta. 
 
So I get to embarrass a few friends ... go to the pizza parlor, grab a piece or two for my plate, scrape the stuff off the bread on the pizza, and eat it, and leave the crust/bread behind!
 
Weird ol'e man they say! 

dubdisciple
I guess i am glad i forgot to give you that bag i set aside for you.

Next time...but I'll settle for enchiladas.

Bitflipper:
I hope you get this worked out.  Losing a spouse is a deeply unsettling event that affects us for years.  Whatever it's worth, you have my sympathies.  Also, you have been a great help to me and many others on this forum, and I appreciate very much what you do.
 

sharke
It's hard to shake off a psychological dependence on pot because it's almost like your whole emotional currency is invested in it. Eating, sleeping, listening to music, reading, just being interested in anything - when you smoke pot regularly it's easy to feel like none of these things would be as good without it. 
 
I quit being a daily pot smoker some years ago and what got me through it was the same thing that got me through giving up cigarettes 20 years ago - focusing on the novelty aspect. When you concentrate on the fact that you've made a major life change and that your existence is going to be different from now on, it's a huge motivator. You have to keep your brain interested. As soon as the novelty of not doing it wears off, that's when you're tempted to think screw it, what's the big deal anyway. You're selling your mind the concept that life is better without the drug, and you'll lose that sale unless you keep on top of your marketing campaign. 

I spent 35 years as a licensed psychologist helping people with drug dependencies.  I have to say Sharke's words are excellent.  Deeply insightful.  He's offering some excellent thoughts.

bitman
Dave, Firstly my sympathies on the loss of your wife. This has got to be unspeakable for you.
 
I at 50+ and self employed with a mortgage have every reason to have sleeping issues.
My wife suggested Benadryl which I now take every night before bed.
 

Benadryl works great although you can build up a tolerance to it after a few years.  If that happens just stop it for a few months and then restart.
A few here have recommended melatonin.  Be very careful there as that's messing with your central nervous system.
Also, you might check with your physician for meds, but again be careful with things like Ambien as they are habit-forming.
 
Good luck to you, and again, thanks for all the help you've offered all of us.
 

Ben "doing" Benadryl for years without failure for good sleep. - no tolerance.
Go to sleep at 10:00 every night
Get up at 6:30 AM every morning.
One mug of coffee - let's go!
 
Every day.

bitflipper
I've tried melatonin but it didn't do anything for me. A daily walk helps, but it's been too frickin' cold around here for that - maybe once it gets above freezing I'll resume. Switching to decaf after the first cup of the day also makes a big difference. Not watching TV in bed, that's another tip.
 
But falling asleep usually isn't the problem, it's staying asleep.

 
They say (whoever "they" are...) that computer and other devices are not conducive to sleeping. Something about the blue LED light affects the brain and wakes you up.  Try reading something like a book.... not the e-book/kindle thing, but an actual hard cover or softcover book.

Exercise before bed is also supposed to not be good. It revs up your system.  I suspect that dietary changes and lifestyle patterns might be in order. But only you can make such a decision based on what you do now.
 
Resorting to chemical means isn't really a solution.  It might work temporarily but in the long run, it just creates more problems to fix.
 
You're going to solve this mystery, I have faith.  The issue is, the longer you have had this lifestyle, the longer and harder it seems to be to change it and resolve it..... but it can be done.

You could get a puppy or a dog, and that would bring some unconditional love, an opportunity to exercise by walking it daily, something to focus on other than yourself, and a great way to meet people and/or pick up chicks.
 
Of course, if you travel, you are screwed with that furry little albatross around your neck.
 
But it won't help you sleep at night. For that, maybe try wearing comfortable headphones and listening overnight to Coast-to-Coast or NPR/BBC at low volume. Or boatloads of white noise? I bet you already tried multiple "breeze box" fans pointing in comfortable directions . . . ?
 
Good luck, Bit, you are valued. 
 
-Tom

Dave, I wish you good luck on this process.
 
I always have it in the house but was never a wake-n-bake user. For me it also started with trying to sleep, as I suffered from insomnia since my early teens. As for using pot, I have a vaporizer so I never smoke it anymore. I vape just a little, so no more of those days where I was zonked - I'm just getting a slight buzz and not all the time. I've managed to put it in a box where it fits in my life, but it took time. I prefer the Indicas as they mellow me a bit and don't get me too worked up. The best for me was some medical-grade pills I had from Colorado. I got the mellow feeling and the calm body without the head-trip. If that ever comes to Nebraska, that will be my thing. 
 
As for sleep - I no longer suffer from insomnia but that didn't get corrected until my early 40s. I was on prescription sleeping pills (horrible for you - and they STOPPED my dreaming). Here are a few things that worked for me:
 
First, get tested for sleep apnea. I have it and now sleep with a CPAP machine. It was uncomfortable at first, but I will not leave home without it. Just putting on the mask now signals my brain it's time to sleep.
 
Sanitize your sleep area:
 
1. Make it dark.
 
2. Get that TV OUT OF YOUR BEDROOM! No excuses. We have no TV in our room and never let our kids have one in theirs. That's an active brain activity that has no place in the bedroom. Seriously, if you have one in there, get it the hell out of there today.
 
3. Put you clock someplace that you cannot see it. I remember in my teens and twenties watching my digital clock roll through the hours. 1pm, 2pm, 3pm, ug. (I used to watch for patterns, like 12:21, 11:11, etc. Anything with 25 looked like a rabbit and anything with 52 looked like a wine glass -on and on. There is a mental thing that happens when you wake up and see 2:30 on the clock, and it FEEDS a cycle of insomnia; you start worrying about being awake and getting back to sleep. DO NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK in the middle of the night - period.
 
4. Read up on "second sleep" - it's a real thing. For a lot of people - me included - you wake up in the middle of the night for awhile, and then go back to sleep and this is normal. Problem is, if you have light in the room or anything distracting (which is why you need to sanitize the sleep area), or you look at a clock and get a little worried about the time - you are done. I wake up in the middle of every night, but just tell myself this is normal, relax and just rest. The sleep then comes back.
 
5. This is a tough one to swallow for a lot of people: Lose the snooze button. I use an alarm app that I am able to customize. I actually created my own audio file to wake up to (starts really gentle, and if I don't turn it off I get chanting monks). :) No snooze button. So I set the alarm to wake me up when I intend to get up, and I get up. Snooze buttons are one of the most damaging things on the planet to good sleep. Do not use it. Trust me, this is a HARD one to break which is why I had to find an alarm app that let me remove the snooze button.
 
5. I had to address a low testosterone issue - when I started T therapy that helped as well.
 
6. No caffeine after 3pm. The time may vary for you, but for me it's 3:00.
 
7. Consider some nighttime supplements. I take a bunch but recommend Melatonin, Magnesium, and Ash Wadonda.
 
I hope you find some of these helpful! 

I have found that a sleeping mask helps me a lot. A year or so ago some a-hole opened a smoke shop across the street from me and he installed this giant neon sign which basically lights up the whole block like Times Square. My light-filtering blinds were no match for this monstrosity and so my apartment was basically lit up like a nightclub all night, I couldn't sleep at all.
 
So I bought a sleeping mask from the drug store. It lets absolutely no light in, and has extra padding on the back to lift the material away from your eyelids so that your eye lashes aren't scraping against it and you can get your proper REM sleep. Instantly I had one of the best nights sleep for years - I think even the feel of it on my face is comforting. 
 
The smoke shop now turns off the light overnight, so I don't have that problem. However I still wear the mask because I find it really helps to block off any light in the room, including tiny lights on gadgets etc. Plus it stops the sun waking me up in the morning. 

smallstonefan
7. Consider some nighttime supplements. I take a bunch but recommend Melatonin, Magnesium, and Ash Wadonda.

 
Magnesium is really important and helps your body relax. I think it is magnesium which is concerned with the relaxing of muscles, whilst calcium is concerned with the contraction. If the two aren't balanced then you have a problem. It's more common to be magnesium deficient than calcium deficient. Restless legs is a good sign of magnesium deficiency. I make a hot drink before bed called Natural Calm which is basically magnesium citrate. I add a little molasses and it's actually quite nice. Really relaxes the muscles and helps me unwind physically. I feel a lot more relaxed in bed. 

Guitarhacker

bitflipper
I've tried melatonin but it didn't do anything for me. A daily walk helps, but it's been too frickin' cold around here for that - maybe once it gets above freezing I'll resume. Switching to decaf after the first cup of the day also makes a big difference. Not watching TV in bed, that's another tip.
 
But falling asleep usually isn't the problem, it's staying asleep.

 
They say (whoever "they" are...) that computer and other devices are not conducive to sleeping. Something about the blue LED light affects the brain and wakes you up.  Try reading something like a book.... not the e-book/kindle thing, but an actual hard cover or softcover book.

Exercise before bed is also supposed to not be good. It revs up your system.  I suspect that dietary changes and lifestyle patterns might be in order. But only you can make such a decision based on what you do now.
 
Resorting to chemical means isn't really a solution.  It might work temporarily but in the long run, it just creates more problems to fix.
 
You're going to solve this mystery, I have faith.  The issue is, the longer you have had this lifestyle, the longer and harder it seems to be to change it and resolve it..... but it can be done.

 
Not sure which is healthier, pot or ativan or some other tranquilizer.  But, if you're worried about having a *crutch* don't worry about it.  Some of the more narrowly tailored tranquilizers have fewer side effects (all drugs have side effects).  One can't get through life without regular sleep.  That's the important thing to keep in mind.