If you are playing your song against commercial music you have a long row to hoe (you should know that expression, Agentcalm, being southern and all).
Mixing loud is the first step. For rock stuff, that ain't hard what with all the loud guitars and big drums. It is when you switch to quieter styles that problems come in. Getting a ballad to match the loudness of a rocker either side is a trick. Mix loud, probably to -6 to -3 dB maximum. The next trick is to get sustained loudness, which is where mastering helps. There are plenty of threads on that and like all professional aspects, it takes time to learn the techniques and then learn to apply them so you develop a style. Just slapping a brickwall limiter on everything will sound, well, bad.
The last thing is that every song balled up to -.01 dB sounds, well, bad (to me anyway). You should get close, but having a few dB of dynamic range can really open up a song. The stuff from the 60s and 70s and later sounds superb because it does have dynamics. Most modern commercial stuff sounds like a boa constrictor squeezing the breath out of a small mammal. You don't have to go there - there is a thing called a volume knob. A small twist will make your song even louder than metallica.
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