Hi Folks,
 
This was looked at recenty but just tweaked it up to basically a finished version. For those that havent listened, still keen for feedback, good and bad
 
latest version
 
https://soundcloud.com/ci...rn/happy-pills/s-p2dpk
 
Thanks,
 
Cian

Song is good Cian, well written, catchy and a good arrangement. Trap kit snare and cymbals sounded disconnected from the rest of the track and need bedding in better to my ears.

Although I do agree with me mayte Jaymes, for that reason I think the drums are actually very cool. Dif'rent strokes etc.

your so damned talented almost anything you drill down into sounds good...
 
kinda has a Saw Doctors feel to me...(I'm a use fan) so its cool for me ears.

whack
But I need feedback really to see if this song has something or is it ready for the trash can.

Hi Cian,
 
Sorry I can't help with the "brutal feedback" dood... Sounds okay to me and is only really in need of a final mastering I guess.
 
cheers
 
andy

There is so much "right" going on here...vocal, arrangement (for the most part)...even concept...but it doesn't hang together. The lyrics need work. Every line should follow the line before it and advance the narrative. Plus it should be understandable to the dimmest bulb listening.

If this seems cold, remember, you asked for honest opinions. That's mine.

Great feel. Great vocal sound. Great groove. Mushy message.

I really like this song. I only listened once, and I don't know exactly what the lyrics are, but I got a vibe from it, and that's enough. I don't know (yet) what it's about, but I know what it feels like it's about. The super cool low-key percussive rhythm track falls apart completely at 1:43. I don't know what you were thinking with those voices down the hall and the ride cymbal up in my face, but tighten that up (up to about 2:05) and it rocks. Excellent.

You in fact asked for it!
 
1) Absolutely keep it. Great groove, and SUPER strong chorus.
2) You could sing the phone book and it would be very listenable.
3) the first problem I had were the lyrics in the first verse. That's where you want to hook people, right away. I was totally left flat and unimpressed by your lyrics in the first verse - do they really relate to your excellent chorus idea? I'm not sure. I'm referring to everything up to "heaven's bed" - which you might regard as the first "two" verses
 
If this were my song, I'd take the lyrics from the SECOND verse (for me, this is the verse after the first chorus) which are excellent and on-theme, and put them in the first verse position. Much stronger hook for the listener. I'd put the current first verse lyrics on the compost pile. Something good might come of them later!
 
4) The organ improv gets in the way of your singing, towards the middle of the song
 
5) For me, whenever you have the word "place" at the end of a lyric line, I'd replace it with a repeat of "direction" or something that rhymes with that. Affection/dejection/erection   ???
 
All my friends
they look at me
troubled times
is what they see
I know I make
I'm a sorry sight
but I know how
to get it right
 
sorry for suggesting these for your first verse but it took me three minutes and it's on theme. Just an idea. Doggerel, but just an idea.
 
by the way, great song!
 
cheers,
-Tom
 

Just so much right with it, only things that caught my ear were the snare and cymbals. A very cool soulful song, I enjoyed.  

Delighted with the feedback, and good quality feedback at that. The overall vibe I get is the song was enjoyed but a lack of coherency in the song theme left it wishy washy.
 
I have done another version:
Which has new lyrics near the start, slight change in chorus and bridge section, it should be a bit more obvious.
Also the organ and ride was tamed on the bridge.
 
Here it is
https://soundcloud.com/ci...n/happypills19/s-UR3I6
 
I havent touched the cymbal or snare, it just didnt really offend me, its probably the juxtaposition of sampled drum with the organic acoustic nature of the track.
 
For those that made the pointers, I would appreciate another listen. Are the lyrics still letting you down, does the bridge drop out?
 
Thanks folks,
 
Cian