Thanks for the input here, really appreciated.
The soft synth I had most issues with (and it can happen even when its the one and only track and soft synth in the project) is U-He's Diva. Using that on some patches causes the furst yellow bar on my CPU performance metre to spike in the red. There is a multicore button in Diva patches, and when turned ON that made things work a lot better (no spikes so far) - (I don't know what that little button does but it works).
I do habitually have internet ON, whilst working with Sonar, and recently noticed that does noticably have an adverse affect on performance, so I now disable the connection each time I work with Sonar.
So far those 2 things alone have helped a lot, although on some projects the first yellow bar looks like its about to peak into the red on occasions, but so far has not.
As for power - I have one plug to the wall into a adapter with 8 earthed sockets, so everything is going into one power source, PC, Midi controller, monitors etc.
Re the ASIO buffers, doing some tests I see 64 causes regualr spikes, 1024 has noticable latency, and 256 seems to be the right balance for my system between usability and perfomance.
Re Windows, I have Windows 7, set for "Best Performance" but other than that I have done no special tweaks.