Hi Spencer,
I can sympathize with you, I experienced the 'zipper' type sound when moving faders around in Sonar a few years back. Like you, I tried everything. I disabled everything I could think of, tried a new video card, onboard graphics, no mouse, driver updates, tweaks here and there etc etc etc etc, everything you have just been through - days of fiddling around. I wish I could say I had the answer because, like you, I found nothing that could stop it. Having said that, I had no other pops or clicks other than that, everything ran fine. About 18 mths ago I built a new DAW and upgraded my sound card to an RME Babyface. Since then all has been perfect with Sonar.
There must have been something specific in my old setup that caused the issue but I'll never know what it was!