I needed to vet this with you all
 
I know the vocals are halted in places, and the lyrics are incomplete. I will rerecord those.
 
I will mix the drums better too.
 
That’s my pal Robage on the guitar.
 
But, what do you all suggest to max it out? Like, take it to another level man....
 
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=13271144&q=hi
 
This song makes me sway
 
Peace
Jesses Q. Screed

Nice going. Real nice. Like hip hop in my ears but with real instruments. Nice mix I dare say. On the negative I dare say the haunting background noises to me at least were distracting and took some of the attention from the main course, vocals and instruments. Unless you wanted it to BE Møre chaotic I would reduce those elements. My phone is acting up with the typing. I kind of regret buying this model but it received nice reviews so bought it. I almost bought a new Lumia Windows phone but I thought it might BE safer to buy an Android thing. I must warn you though that I am not a musical wizard like many of guys and gals here are so my opinion can BE totally wrong. About the song ofc.

Very cool song and the mix is nice and clean too.....very good to see you're improving your mixes. The bass line is very nice and funky.
 
In the suggestions dept. : at the end of the 1st & 3rd bar of every verse (i.e. 8 second mark & 16 second mark)  bring all the instruments to a complete stop (except the vocals)......this should help in expanding the dynamics of the song and give it some variation. The background guitar or synth melody? might benefit the song more if it was used a bit more sparingly and not continuously.....as Kakku said, it was a bit distracting. 
 
Of course these is just my opinion, so please do take it all with a grain of salt.
 
Nice jam and mix Jesse!!      

jesse - once again I say your stuff is different!  not saying that's bad!  just "different"
 
I don't really have any crits on anything at this point, I'm not sure I'd know how to give any advice.
 
I enjoyed it, tho!

Thanks for the comments.  Yes, arrangement needs work.  I'm glad you shared your thoughts because it will help me refine the song when I get a chance to work on it again.
 
I know my stuff is "different" so if you say so, it doesn't hurt my feelings.  Different is all I know to do.  I have found my voice and I want to make music this way. It may never be accessible to the masses, but the song forum is fine for me.  I'll make music no matter what.
 
However, little suggestions on how it could be better are always appreciated.
 
Thanks for taking the time.
 
Jesse Q. Screed

If I had a sister I'd let you have her.  I'm sure she would be very good.
 

Man yer funky.
 
No crits as this is your vision not mine.