craigb
I don't know about you guys, but I would bet it's about as rare to find a centipede at a pet store as it was to find TWO talking centipede jokes with pretty much the same punch line.
 

 
Not in the CH it ain't.

Hi,
 
Wow ... this thread went down just like a dead parrot!

 
"Good morning shopkeep!" I announced as I walked into my local pet emporium this fine morning.
 
"Hello sir" replied the assistant, "How may I help you today?"
 
"Why my good man" I said, "I'd like to purchase a pet wasp if'n you'd be so kind"
 
"I'm sorry sir" he retorted, "But we don't sell wasps"
 
"I beg to differ my good man" I said, "But you have one in the window"
 
 

Wife, "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective, we should split up."
Me, "Good idea, we can cover more ground that way!"

A man at a funeral asks the minister if he knows the wi-fi password. 
 
"Please, have some respect for your deceased mother." 
"Is that all lower case?"
 

craigb
I don't know about you guys, but I would bet it's about as rare to find a centipede at a pet store as it was to find TWO talking centipede jokes with pretty much the same punch line.

 
HA HA EXACTLY!!!!!! :)

SteveStrummerUK

 
 
Here's another one 
 

 
Kenny

+

what's a budgie?