Walt Collins
Cool song idea, and nice playing.  I'd suggest sending the vocals to a bus and compressing them a bit.  Maybe also use a bit of mid-high EQ to make the lyrics more distinct.
 
As for the drums (especially kick/snare) and bass, they sound a little "canned" to me.  Need some more beef, IMO. :)
 
Thanks for sharing this!

Hi Walt,
Thanks for the listen.
I will take your suggestion about the vocals- I should have done that in the first place.
Unfortunately, the drums are embedded in the rythm track which I created in Pro Audio 9 during the previous millennium, so I guess I'm stuck with them.  
Cheers,
Bert

Hi Bert, nice tune, bring back the intro and turn up those vox ; )
 
Rik

  I certainly wouldn't take it personal about the remarks about the 80's dance sound. To many folks, cool retro is far better than most current pop music. To me, this has a early MTV vibe to it and I believe that's a good thing. I really enjoyed the material. I do agree a bit more work on the production is required to get it to it's fullest potential.  

The clarity of the vocals is the only thing I would think about, but if it's the way you intended for the effect...then I would leave the way you want it. Good job!

I like it! Seems like there might be a little too much going on around 400 Hz, though -- just a little muddy, which you can't afford if you want to wash the vocal in echo like that. It might be the organ. I would try cutting low-mid out of that instrument, and maybe turn it down a bit. Good job! Very atmospheric.

Bob Oister
Hi, Bert,
 
Excellent work on this tasty sounding classic pop rocker with very cool progressive overtones!
 
I love the well textured synth work and melodic keyboard fills, and your vocals sound smooth and really nice.  The whisper trick was a nice effect and added an interesting focal point before the melodic solos kicked in.
 
Really good stuff, Bert!
 
Bob
 
 
 
Hi Bob,
Very good to hear from you. Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm sorry I'm so slow getting back to you, but I've had multiple crashes with my main PC at home, which havn't been completely sorted out. But I have been listening to your recent posts and you are rocking real hard. Hot stuff, for sure.
 
Cheers,
 
Bert

jamesg1213
I'd have maybe gone for a different intro, it felt like I'd missed 30 secs of the song when it started.
 
Have more confidence in your vocals and get 'em up front and not drowned in effects, can't understand the lyrics for the most part. There's a nice David Byrne thing going on, that needs bringing out.

+me two

This is a really nice tune with a solid feel to it.  My only crit has to do with the intelligibility of the vocals.  IMO they should be more prominent in the mix.

All that needs to be said about this has been said so I will just say, keep it up and thanks for sharing.

ohgrant
  I certainly wouldn't take it personal about the remarks about the 80's dance sound. To many folks, cool retro is far better than most current pop music. To me, this has a early MTV vibe to it and I believe that's a good thing. I really enjoyed the material. I do agree a bit more work on the production is required to get it to it's fullest potential.  

Grant,
I enjoy hearing how this song strikes people. I honestly don't know where this arrangement came from. Once I had the song written in my head, this is what it sounded like.
 
I will revisit it soon and try to clean it up.
 
Cheers,
 
Bert