In '82, I saw a comedian open for Asia at the Auditorium Theater in Chicago. It was like watching a slow motion train wreck. I mean, the kind that involves a tanker full of toxic waste, a truck carrying nitroglycerin, and a freight car full of hog manure. Actually, that would have been a much better opening act.
Many years later, I saw I Mother Earth open for Dream Theater. It's not that I Mother Earth were terrible musicians. They played well and sang in the general proximity of the right key. They were just boring. Each song sounded lamer than the one before. Dull. Monotonous. After a few hours (relative time), I realized that I would have preferred to listen to a poetry recital at the Mount Tedium Junior High School for the Criminally Insane. In between obnoxiously insipid songs, the vocalist started screaming at the crowd for not listening to them, thus demonstrating the full extent of his intelligence. I wish they had hired a comedian instead.