You can not use Midi start/stop in that way. The way it is intended to work is as follows:
1) from a stopped condition, the master sends the slave the start position pointer which is a beat offset into the song.
2) master sends the
continue command and the slave starts playback from the song position pointer.
A Midi Start message automatically causes all slaves to start from zero. The midi sync message has no position information and is used solely for synchronization. In effect, the start and continue messages do nothing on their own and must be followed by a midi clock message. The slaves count the midi clock messages to keep in sync. Slaves will not playback until the first midi sync message after a start or continue.
Sonar does not allow sending midi sync without also sending start, stop and continue.
What you are looking to do can be realized by using a combination of MTC and MMC. Sonar does support this. However very few hardware sequencers have that capability. In this case you would set up an external device with a chase delay, so that playback is delayed by a specific time relative to zero MTC time.
Does your hardware sequencer support triggering by midi CC or notes? For example, my Korg Karma WS supports RPPRs which are looped midi sequences triggered by a specific midi note (the midi sequences do not get transposed). The Karma is slaved to Sonar to receive midi sync. I then trigger the RPPR by sending a not on message at the appropriate time and playback is synchronized.