Hi, I'm using the 70s Drummer with X3d as well but I can't reproduce your issues here.
Below is the steps I just took:
1. Load the Normal project template in X3.
2. Load Kontakt 5 Player (audio + MIDI).
3. Load the "AR70s Open Kit Full" factory preset.
4. Record a drum take in the MIDI track.
5. Click the "Options" tab of the Abbey Road Drummer and enable "Show Trigger States."
6. Switch back to the "Kit" tab and play the MIDI track. (the animation works all right)
7. Switch to the "Mixer" tab. (the solo buttons are displayed all right)
Btw, I don't know where the "sound" icon is located.