I wrote this song about a person I once worked with. She asked me to write a song about her. I'm sure you can understand why I could have never play it for her. Funny thing, it made me take a closer look at her while I was writing. All I could come up with was a gold digger type, going by how she treated her boy friends. I always feel good about my lyrics, it's all that mixing stuff I work so hard at that makes me crazy some times.
 
https://youtu.be/-0ozfIU1lNs
 
 
Cheers, Terry

the tune has a wonderfully poignant quality. 

Hey Terry,
Good song and lead vocal. Not crazy about the synth on the right. Think this could still use some arrangement and new mix. Herman's Hermits in 2015!
It needs a jangling guitar part too!

Rimshot
Hey Terry,
Good song and lead vocal. Not crazy about the synth on the right. Think this could still use some arrangement and new mix. Herman's Hermits in 2015!
It needs a jangling guitar part too!

Thanks for your thoughts Rimshot. I'm not sure why, but this has been a mix from hell for me. I think I may have settled due to the amount of work on the mix. I just couldn't get the right side to sound right for me, I was just hoping it was me be picky and not the song.
I'll give it another go!!!
 
 
Cheers, Terry

cute song 

Jimmy pretty much said it all.

Here it is Rimshot, Hope that this is closer. Please let me know. Thanks for your thoughts
 
https://youtu.be/UI_z7Wksf4E

OK. I am going to get critical on this because the song is worth it. 
 
Way too much mids. THere is no low end on my system. Bass guitar is so far back. You need to set the foundation with bass and kick to support the mid instruments (guitar and synth). 
Lead vocal is too over the top. 
So...
The synth is really in the way. Start the mix over. Use bass, drums, vocals, and get that perfect.
Then add the synth and stuff. Be careful not to overpower the drums, bass, and vocal. 
You might also want to use a different snare sound. Maybe something that is wider with more rattle. 
 
Listen to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TreNe5D8OXE
 
Check out the dynamic range between lows to highs. Listen to the bass vs. snare and lead vocal. The guitars and synths are secondary. 
 

Rimshot, what do you mean by Lead vocal is too over the top. 

Hey, 
"Over the top" means it is way too loud.