Try setting the EZDrummer track input to None when playing the Trilian.

I guess in the meantime the workaround would be to point the MIDI to a soft synth that doesn't give you latency, so at least you can perform the part without the delay. Then just point the resulting MIDI track at Trilian. Not ideal I know, because your performance is always going to be influenced by the sound you're hearing. 

 
 

notfadeaway...
 Is it the input echo button or my ins and outs I have screwed up?
 

 
It sounds like you have input echo on. Try turning it off and see if it still happens. As for the latency issue, I would have to agree with those that say it's not Trilian. My Pc is nowhere near your specs and I have no issues like this although I am also not using X3.
 
It really shouldn't be an issue, but try freezing the drum track and see what happens.

I don't know what the problem might be but
I don't think it's Trilian or X3 as I have a project with
it, 2 instances of Omnisphere and Stylus with no issues.
 
(along with 4 track with Guitar Rig 5 and one of EZdrummer..nothing froze)

all of the last 3 tips helped out the project so unfortunately I do not know which one worked. I'm thinking this might be my introduction to midi the hard way. Shark's idea of recording the part with some other synth actually triggered another question hopefully someone here could answer though I should try a new post. Can a friend of mine record the bass part at his house, export a midi track somehow , bring to me, then I simply put that track in my project and point Trilian at it. ? How does one accomplish this. I never thought Midi could make me feel so stupid

notfadeaway...
all of the last 3 tips helped out the project so unfortunately I do not know which one worked. I'm thinking this might be my introduction to midi the hard way. Shark's idea of recording the part with some other synth actually triggered another question hopefully someone here could answer though I should try a new post. Can a friend of mine record the bass part at his house, export a midi track somehow , bring to me, then I simply put that track in my project and point Trilian at it. ? How does one accomplish this. I never thought Midi could make me feel so stupid

Yes, it can be easily done, all you need to do is to import his midi track/file into your project in the appropriate place and direct it to the synth of your choice. As sharke said, unless he is using the same synth / settings as yours it may affect how it sounds played on a different synth.

notfadeaway - I have a similar set of specs as you for my computer and use Trilian and loads of other stuff packed and playing harmoniously in Sonar X3 Producer. I have zero noticeable input latency, so I don't think it's a Trilian issue.

You'll feel great about MIDI in short order. It's a wonderful thing!