this is a nice start....
begs for full vocal treatment.
i like the smooth laid back mix approach,
but i can understand if someone listens to it at low volume,
a lot of the cool stuff disappears.
sounds great cranked.
i almost never say 'add compression' or limiting just to bring stuff up,
but in this case, i think it would work.
you need some more high end data on the guitar part to get it to sit right.
almost needs 'upward compression', or expanding.