Rain,
Mega-dittos to everything you said. Unless you are doing Whipping Post, or some such number where the whole point of the song is furious jamming/shredding, then the guitar solo needs to enhance and call attention to the song itself. Inappropriately flashy GTR playing calls attention to the GTR player and not the singer and his song. Are we trying to make music, or just show off?
Also, I object to this idea that playing lead guitar is a note playing contest; that is to say that the guy that plays the most notes in time & tune is the best guitarist. To me that is more like organized noise than music. I am more impressed by players that play within the song/composition. Warmth and melody are what please me. I'm thinking Ry Cooder. I actually prefer Jimmy Vaughn's work to Stevie Ray's.
And Keith Richards raised rhythm guitar to a very high artistic level.
Yeah, I know exactly what you are saying.
Cheers,
Bert