I loved the song, and I think many of the comments are things I would agree with. A little hotter vocal would help, as most people said. The thing that bothered me the most was the "squeak" of the guitar at 2:26. Volume automation could easily solve that. A less obvious one is at 1:03.
Secondly, I think the "power guitar" coming in at the choruses is way too.....80's. I think you might be surprised how much power you can get with less distortion. This may sound weird, but listen to "Hysteria" by Def Leppard. Mutt Lange produced that, and the guitars are amazingly not overdriven. A little bit of fuzz sounds like an amp cranked up. A lot sounds like bees in a jar.
Even AC/DC, also Mutt Lange produced, has that "amp on 10" quality, rather than "stomp box distortion" sound. "Back in Black" is the 4th biggest selling album of all time. Just sayin'.....
Got to hand it to you, though. I'm giving 4 out of 5 stars...
LOVE the ending!