Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome
spookster - rough mix

To say this was horrific is a compliment. I think it checks all the boxes for a tv show horror break. Are you in an abandoned warehouse? A parking garage perhaps?
 
Is this kind of like NIN? I don't hear them much, but it might be the same excellent creepiness territory.
 
cheers,
-Tom

Sounds perfect to my ears. Quite dark, sinister and disturbing. The vocal parts are the only thing that's not 'there' yet.
Nice work.
 
Gus

I'm with Gus on the vocal parts, at least the vocal "stabs" (the sustained notes seem to fit better).   They're a bit to "major" sounding IMO for what is otherwise a dark and dank piece, creepily crawling along.