Thank you, mesh and Stevec, for taking the time to check it out and give your feedback.
I don't mind hearing the same criticism from multiple people, because it just makes it that much more clear that the improvements suggested are unanimous.
 
Hindsight is 20/20, and I always see the screw-ups I've made AFTER the song is already up. So, as always, I'll apply the lessons learned to the next song I do, which is already in the works.