Basically cool idea here, and I agree with much of the above.
I like a wide mix, but I'm not sure the hard panning is working. It kind of misses the unity, if that makes sense.
I'm picturing your lead vox ( which sound pretty good, by the way), panned about 50% left.
In particular, I'm getting "come spirit, come" as a call, waiting for a Large response filling center to 50% right.
This is a potentially very powerful piece, but it's not quite there yet.
Work it, brother. I want to hear this one soar!

Beagle

Wookiee
Thanks Reece but this furry alien from far far far away is completely and utterly wrong the download appears to be an MP3

GASP!  maybe I accidentally uploaded the mp3 instead of the wave.  I'll have to check that tonight.

RobertB
In particular, I'm getting "come spirit, come" as a call, waiting for a Large response filling center to 50% right.

Like maybe 5 or 6 voices?

Beagle
we have been talking about you in the other forum, ya know.  oh - not one with a cakewalk domain!  no - for our banned!

Everyone's talkin' a(bou)t  me, I don't hear a word they sayin'
 

 
You said.....the Bazz sound good.  The guys said that I got the Bapu stamp of approval.....to which I posted.....this...
 
 
 

Good song, Reece.  I hear things in the mix but the other guys play with the mixes more than I do and they had a lot of good comments.  Your vocals get better all the time, Reece.

bapu

RobertB
In particular, I'm getting "come spirit, come" as a call, waiting for a Large response filling center to 50% right.

Like maybe 5 or 6 voices?

That would be a good start. I 'm thinking..from the valley sprang forth a great and mighty song.

nice job....I think the middle of the mix sound a bit void and I think maybe centering the vox a bit more...but shes very strong...i like!!

Reece, your silence here suggests to me that you are really drilling into this mix.
I'm looking forward to the next version.

A good song with mix problems is still a good song. With - you guessed it.
 
OK, please post your reworking of it.
 
One thing, I'd change the basic drum meter.  Think of the Queen song "We Will Rock You" - that's happening in your song - "boom boom CHUNK!"  and I think a more standard and straightforward 2/4 pattern would help sort thinks out.
 
Towards the end, just toms and toms, no snare. I'd vote, keep the snare.
 
Majorly curious to see if anything happens to this.
 
best,
-Tom