Hey Robert,
  Having some lead really add more interest to your piece. Perhaps trying to shake the lead guitar sound up a little, ie change sound for a part in the track. You could use a different amp for say the part that you see as the chorus of the tune. just an idea.
:)

Hey Bob!  this is really nice!  great tribute to your daughter.
 
I think I agree with Gus about trying to "shake up" the lead a little, it kind of almost doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the song.  I might even suggest a clean tone for this.
 
the area between 1:57 and 2:24 - is that supposed to be a lead playing there?  If so I can barely hear it doing anything and that area seems kind of "dull" if you know what I mean...sorry I don't mean to be harsh, it's just that I started to lose interest in the song there.
 
hope Steph and Zander are doing well with their new life!

Bob - we're old pals so I hope I can speak frankly - the lead guitar isn't really cutting it here. I think it either needs a strong melodic hook to centre around and play off, or you really need to rip it up and go for it with some confidence (to echo the story behind the piece) As it is, it's just kinda noodling quietly around, and there are several bum notes. I know you can do better.

Hey, if this is background music for a slide show about a day at the beach, I think it's there, no problem. Just kind of a groovy background, it works!
 
If it's more the meat, and less the mashed potatoes, then I'd spend some time cutting upper bass, boosting lower bass. I also was a little unsure of the beat at times, seemed like you might have two drum vst's running at once, and there was a little flamming on some off-timed beats, particularly right at the beginning.
 
But none of that is super-critical, as background music, it sure would be a good groove . . .
 
cheers,
-Tom

Thanks for the constructive crits, guys.
Gus, different amp... hmmm... maybe.
Beagle, aw man.. that's my favorite part. The lead pulls back, and the acoustic and clean guitar take over to pull it up from the Reggae passage. Maybe I need to put more emphasis on the acoustic?
And the acoustic does wash out from 2:20 to 2:24. I'm trying to figure out what I am doing to cause that.
James, I am going to take "noodling quietly around" as a backhanded compliment.
I believe you have used similar terminology to describe the Grateful Dead, and I was definitely in a GD groove.
That said, I am open to kicking around some ideas. And if a stray guitar track should drift across the pond, I might be inclined to listen to it.
i'm having a deja vu moment with Kenny and the Fishing Buchanan Creek project.
And yes, there are a few clinkers that need to be addressed.
Tom, I think you've hit the crux of the biscuit.
From the outset, this has been more of a groove than a song. And maybe it needs the slideshow.
When I listen to it, I can envision the images that you guys can't see. This now serves as inspiration to do the video and complete the vision.
As for the drums, it is in fact two drum VST's.  They are in the same rhythm, but emphasizing off beats.
As they come into sync with each other, it's sort of a metaphor for the impending wedding less than 24 hours away. Perhaps it's not translating the way I hear it. And I will listen for just plain odd hits.
Thanks again, all.
Tuesday and Wednesday are my days off, and the weather is going to be unpleasant. Perfect time for the studio.
I'll keep your thought in mind, and see what I come up with.

I can did the kinda free form flow of this. I have to agree with some of the above comments that as a sort of background thing it works. The mix itself sounds ok to me but in the beginning there is a lot going on before it settles into a beat and a flow. 
 
I have not been around for a while so take my comments with a grain of salt. 
 
Peace