As far as soft synths go, there is a buffer for MIDI as well within SONAR... set too low and you get MIDI dropouts... as you set it higher, the MIDI latency increases as well... you need to find the sweet spot between the two. If I set mine at 256, I get the MIDI note dropout. At 512, the MIDI plays back fine but adds real time latency (un useable for me).
So, what I have had to do, is use an older LAPTOP and install my softsynths on it (as well as my main DAW). I have a MIDI splitter coming from my MIDI keyboard and send one signal to the DAW for MIDI recording and the other MIDI to the extra laptop.
This laptop only runs the softsynth so I can monitor my MIDI performance in real time. I mix my DAW audio and the LAPTOP audio through my external mixer so I can hear all the music at the same time.
THis way my MIDI performance is in sync with my DAW project and I can monitor the soft synth in real time.
Just one of those workarounds. In essence, I am using the laptop as a synth hardware unit but I am recording my MIDI in real time. I then go to my DAW and link the soft synth to the newly recorded MIDI track and go on with mixing.
I don't know any other way to eliminate the dreaded MIDI delay with soft synths trying to record MIDI in real time using the sounds of the soft synth.
The above works flawlessly for me by the way.
Jim