I agree with Stevec --- there is a good base of music here (e.g., good lyrics, melody, FX accents, etc.).  Similar to the comments above I found that things were a bit out of sync.  The rhythmic sounds (e.g., guitar pan L) sounded out of sync with the drums.  A bit more looseness (is that a word?) with the rhythmic sections might give this song a less mechanical feel. 
You have started something good with this and I hope that you get a bit of time to work on this using some of the suggestions above.  I think that it would be worthwhile and I would look forward to hearing it again.

Cool song! The mix needs help. Just out of curiosity, how old is the guitar player? Time playing? If he's a fairly new player then he just need to keep it up. He's searching so that's a plus.
 
Again, cool song!

Good song and the vocalist is good.  I like her voice and delivery.    Nice overall track, but the guitar playing is very distracting.   I think overall it is worth pursuing with a new guitar part.  
 
Regards

Guitar player is 44 and he's me. Still learning, of course. I probably played thirty leads and just kept the last one indiscriminately.

Like your vocals a lot.  Would like to hear them with a bit less processing. 

All that needs to said about this track is written above, it sounds like you have a good tune and some interesting lyrics however here it comes across very much stuck in the mire with to much happening at one time.
 
We all have to learn some how and you will find invaluable help from the good peeps here.
 
Thanks for sharing.