I'd like to thank all who gave opinion, comments and suggestions in this thread. It has been incredibly helpful.
 
I have a further question though, and am unsure as to whether or not it deserves it's own thread. So I'll just continue here.
 
For 34 years I have played a certain way. I learned to play (guitar, bass and keys) by emulating my favorite band, A Flock of Seagulls. If you aren't familiar with them, I would suggest looking up a few videos on YouTube. For those that are, the overall arrangements are comprised of sustained legato pads, rudimentary bass lines, and simple guitar hooks. They typically stayed within a certain chord for a few measures before switching to the next. No passage was every very complex or faster than 1/8th notes. In the end, anybody with half a brain could learn their songs.

The problem is that, as an adult, I want to expand and get better, so I can play such things as Sledgehammer or Take on Me. Things of that nature. Therein lays the problem. Neither my mind, nor body, thinks this way. While that might seem like an odd statement and be hard to comprehend, it is the only way I can describe it.

Part of the problem is that I do not have a sequencer outside of SONAR and no, I can not afford one. My general mindset is that I do not like recording something I can not do live, and so, have never invested in a portable sequencer. I may not be the best, or even average, as a player, but at least I'm not lazy.

During the seven years since my stroke and onset of arthritis, I have adopted a set of finger exercises to increase my accuracy and speed. But I seem to have reached my threshold. I will keep doing them of course, but I am not sure it will make much difference.

This style of writing music is what I refer to as "block" writing. In other words, you stay within a certain block or chord, whereas typical music may change chords several times in one measure.

I have sat down, just as an exercise, and tried writing something that sounded like something Justin Bieber might sing (as well as other artists). The result always end up sounding like poo, or somehow migrates back to my usual fare.
 
If I had started following the greats when I was younger, I might be a lot more free now. For example, if I had learned Van Halen songs early, I would be a lot better guitarist I think. The same goes for other instruments. As it stands though, I now have 34 years of programming and muscle memory to undo.

The question is; how do I break free from this musical programming I have allowed myself to fall into?

Sincerely, Drew

My musical heros were Keith Emerson, Jon Lord, Rick Wakeman, Dave Greenslade,  Thijs van Leer, Blue Weaver, Tony Banks and John Hawken, all were in bands were keyboards were prominent in the music and all had a unique style. Its pretty hard to have a reconisable style if all you are doing is playing pads and vamps.
 
One contempory player that stands out is Çağri Tozluoğlu of Karnataka, probably because of his Turkish heratage and the sometimes oriental style of his playing.
 
Jonathan Edwards of Panic Room also has some unique flourishes. On Panic Room's audatious cover of ELP's ****es Crystal it could have been no one else playing that Rhodes!
 
I think players that concentrate on either Piano or Organ for the most part will have a more recognisable technique but that is not a given.

Serenarules
 
 

The question is; how do I break free from this musical programming I have allowed myself to fall into?

 
This might sound a bit harsh, but maybe stop listening to music from such a narrow genre range. Expand your horizons a bit.
 
Don't try and sound like Flock of Seagulls, AHA, Depeche Mode, or any of your favourite '80's bands, they've been and gone. Write something that takes the good parts of those styles, but moves it on a bit.
 
I'm guessing you may have liked Japan back then, they were pretty synth heavy. Have a listen to how they progressed afterwards, David Syvian's solo stuff is worth investigating, and Richard Barbieri's career after Japan is really interesting especially the albums he did with 'H' from Marillion, and his work with Porcupine Tree. He's a synth player who stretches the boundaries a bit, highly atmospheric and textured sounds.

Dare I say it?
 
Band In A Box.
 
There, I said it.

A Flock of Seagulls...  My "guilty favorite" band! 

I've tried to answer this Fred but I keep falling asleep before I can read it 

Serenarules
Part of the problem is that I do not have a sequencer outside of SONAR and no, I can not afford one.

 
I don't either. The unlimited MIDI tracks in Sonar represent one of the most powerful and easy to use linear sequencers available. I never used the included step sequencer, but it looks to be a good enough module to do the kind of loop composition that is popular among the kids today. If you have Sonar, you have everything you need to control real world synths/keyboards, softsynths, and sample players.

Serenarules
 
The question is; how do I break free from this musical programming I have allowed myself to fall into?

Sincerely, Drew

My two cents here...try writing from the head, not from the instrument.  Honestly, all of my writing was more creative when I started from the head.  Just driving around, maybe a coffee run or something, a riff or musical thingy would just pop in my head and I'm singing inside my head and arranging parts.  Then when I got home I'd pick up the guitar or something and figure out what was composed up there in the gray matter.  
 
Now I do way more writing from the instrument, and each has its pros and cons - but for your issue, head writing may be a jump start.  
 
When you're writing from the instrument you're limited to what your extremities can do in relation and coordination to your creative brainstorm - you may not think to do some fast triplet or an awkward combination of notes that sound killer - it doesn't occur to you in that mode.  
 
But when you're head writing *everything* is easy.  There is nothing "weird" or "too difficult" to perform when it's in your head so your creativity just flows freely.  You're not limited to your abilities or your usual tendencies because you're operating in an unlimited space.  
 
Then, you sh!t yourself trying to figure out how to play what was in your head - and voila, you're now playing completely differently, pushing yourself and your abilities.  

I think there is something even more basic than any of what has been recently discussed that I am missing. What would you say if I told that that no song ever has made me cry, or experience extreme happiness? When I write, it's more like a technical exercise, than something that comes from inside. I feel very little when I write or play. This is, of course, partially due to the fact that I absolutely must look at my hands and instrument while playing and must be constantly aware of what I've already played as well as what is coming up. Everything must be planned. My lyrics often fall short of blah simply because I really don't have anything to say.

On the point about being tone deaf. This is how I would describe it. You know how singers will use those pitch pipe things to center themselves before singing a song? I can't do that. I can not hear a note and hit it right away. I don't even come close. Sometimes, it's three or four whole tones off. If one were to play two notes in succession, I can tell they were different notes, but not the exact interval.
 
I really can't explain what goes on in my mind, but I just seem to be stuck in limbo. It's one thing to say "play from the heart" and quite another to actually do it when there isn't anything there. I want to break away from this, and play with freedom and expressiveness, but after 34 years, I still haven't found the path, let alone actually do it.

Hopefully this made a little more sense than previous posts. I'm still open for all comments and suggestions.

Serenarules
I think there is something even more basic than any of what has been recently discussed that I am missing. What would you say if I told that that no song ever has made me cry, or experience extreme happiness? When I write, it's more like a technical exercise, than something that comes from inside. I feel very little when I write or play. This is, of course, partially due to the fact that I absolutely must look at my hands and instrument while playing and must be constantly aware of what I've already played as well as what is coming up. Everything must be planned. My lyrics often fall short of blah simply because I really don't have anything to say.

I can't relate to that at all.  Everything makes me cry, ha ha.  I can't get through two verses of Sound of Silence before I tear up - every damn time. 
 
I have to ask what draws you to music then, in the first place, if you feel very little from it?